


Do Not Wait, I'll Be There

by tria19



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Slow Burn, post-season one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19260970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tria19/pseuds/tria19
Summary: Everything in New Ham has been unpredictable and unforgiving, but for Allie and Harry, it left the deepest wounds. Although on opposite sides of a conflict, they find solace in private conversations between the two of them. Just as the town is trying to find it's footing among all the craziness, Harry and Allie are trying to recover from their own mistakes.-Takes place right where season one left off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all, this is my first fic ever but after watching I felt super inspired to write some kind of redemption arc for Harry and to look at what Allie would feel like after being locked up. Pls be kind but also feel free to leave constructive criticism!! Hope u enjoy! 
> 
> -
> 
> named for "Do Not Wait" by Wallows; something about the song made me wana write, so it gets to be the title!

Allie had no idea how long she’d been in the cellar. At first, she counted the days by how often she got food. It felt like they only brought it down once a day. Jason or Clark would come down, drop it in the cell, then lock it back up and leave. They’d let her use the bathroom once a day. No one even stood watch near her cell. She was nothing to them anymore. She hadn’t spoken out loud in what felt like years. The guards weren’t talking to her, not that she was trying to talk to them, and all her thoughts remained in her head. She worried for Will’s safety, she thought about Cassandra and how if she were alive, none of this would have gone so wrong. She only cried once so far, to grieve her old life, for her sister, for herself. Time was starting to mend into itself, as the food seemed to come further and further apart. It wasn’t until Harry started showing up that she was able to get any sense of time again. 

He came confidently down the stairs out of the blue, striding into her cell. She stared at him and asked what the fuck he was doing there but he smiled and ignored it. He asked her about information for how to run the town. Basic stuff like food estimates, the job schedule, where people were living. She complied. She cared about the town and all the people in it. She told Harry she was doing this for them, not him, and he said nothing. After that first visit, she thought that would be it, but he kept coming with more questions all the time. In the beginning, she was cold, trying her best to show him nothing. But it was wearing her out, being angry all the time. She was locked in a cell, waiting for a death sentence. The only thing she could do was make sure the people of New Ham were going to be able to survive. 

At first, the visits were short and to the point. He asked what he needed to know and left. The second time he came he asked if there were keys for the church or school. The fifth time he wanted to know if we ever looked into the electric or water supply. He never asked more than what he needed to know, but he was less smug after every visit that was for sure. He looked more and more worn each visit. Clearly, being mayor was a short-lived high for him. At the sixth or seventh visit, things started to change. He pulled up a chair in the wine cellar and sighed exhaustedly. 

“How did you do it?” He asked. She knew exactly what he was asking. She didn’t necessarily want to talk to him, but she was so alone. Being stuck with her thoughts was an exhausting existence. It felt good to hear her own voice and focus on something other than her impending end. 

“I stopped thinking about myself. I focused on everyone in this town and how to keep them alive. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” 

“I don’t think I can do it. To be honest, I didn’t want it in the first place. I just wanted my house back.” Allie actually laughed at this. She hadn’t laughed in so long she almost scared herself. He gave her a weak smile. 

“Harry, you have to get it together. These people need you. I don’t know why you’re working with Campbell and Lexie, but I have more faith in you to do what’s best for these people than them.” She stared into his eyes hard, hoping he can tell she really meant it. 

“How can you possibly think that?” He asked. 

“You are selfish, stupid, and spoiled. Those are facts. But, Harry, you’re a good person. And that is a fact too.” She almost wanted to reach out and squeeze his hand. He looked so defeated. She wanted to hate him for locking her in this cell, for expecting her to help him be mayor, for saying the words that made Dewey want to kill her sister; but she couldn’t. Harry was flawed, but so was everyone else. They were in an impossible situation, making impossible decisions. And she knew what it felt like to lead. She wished she had someone back then to give her reassurance. 

“People are unhappy. They wanted immediate change but we can’t give them that. It’s getting really cold, way too quickly. Grizz is trying to grow crops, but there’s nothing yet. The problems are piling up and Lexie and Campbell are no help in any of it.” Allie had no answers for those problems. They were too big. It almost made her angry, him sitting here asking her advice after he locked her up. But didn’t have much emotion left in her at all.

“I don’t have answers for you. I can’t be in jail and be mayor. Get creative, and use those around you. A lot of people around here have good ideas if you ask them.” Allie replied. 

He stared at her intensely for a few seconds. Then he got up, opened the cell, put his chair back outside the cell and whispered a barely-audible ‘thanks’. He came back the next day, this time bearing gifts. He brought her a bagel with cream cheese, orange juice, and two chocolate chip cookies. She wasn’t being starved, but she definitely wasn’t getting anything as good as this. She started scarfing it down as he pulled up his chair and looked at her. 

“What can’t you guys figure out today?” She asked, biting into her bagel. 

“What did you do after you found out Cassandra died?” His eyes looked dark, and he had deep bags surrounding them. She was so unprepared for that question. She was bewildered by his appearance and the realness of the question. She considered saying nothing, or something sarcastic. But she didn’t see the point. 

“I sat in my bed and cried. I don’t know for how long. I cried myself to sleep, and then woke up and did it again. Then I went downstairs and they all stared at me. And told me I had to take over. I’ve told you this before though.” She glanced up at him, to see any recognition in his face. When they locked eyes, he looked away. She thought back to that day in his room. It was the worst she ever saw him. He reached out to her that day, but she was cold. She’s been wondering for some time now if she helped Harry instead of ignored his clear downward spiral, that she wouldn’t be in this jail cell. But who really knows if it would have made any difference. 

“And then what?” He was back to staring at her, with unwavering eye contact. 

“I told them if they asked me to do this, it would kill me. And that it was on them. Then I became mayor. I never wanted to be it, but once it finally hit me, I was responsible for these people, that was the only job I could ever have. Making sure we survived, and maybe one day thrived. It is exactly what Cassandra would have wanted me to have done. I hope I made her proud.” She glanced at him and he was still staring. She felt tears welling up in the back of her eyes and shut them tight, not wanting to cry in front of him.

“Allie. I’m sorry for what happened to Cassandra. I know I said it before, but I really mean it. I never once thought about how my actions could impact the people around me, and then I killed someone.” His voice was shaky and Allie could tell he hadn’t talked about this before. He seemed the type to bottle up his emotions. 

“Harry, you didn’t kill her. Dewey did. And I killed him. I know what it’s like to carry the weight of death on your shoulders. Don’t burden yourself with hers. I forgive you, and she would have too.” When she looked at him, she swore he was wiping away a tear. It felt nice to say to him. She’s been trying to convince herself to hate Harry since the moment she found out Cassandra died, but she never really could. When she saw Harry in his room that day, she knew he was punishing himself worse than she ever could. 

“Thanks, Allie.” He stayed for another twenty minutes after that. He told her she was approaching her third week in there. She asked if she was going to stay in jail forever, he said they were still trying to figure out how to rule, and they were discussing her and Will soon. He promised her Will was okay. Then he left with a small lopsided smile and a quick goodbye. 

He came everyday religiously after that. They talked about high school, and what their college plans were, how they felt about their parents, what they missed most about home. It felt so nice to talk about normal things for once. To tell someone how she really feels about things. He seemed to get lighter with every word he spoke, and his laughs started to add up to double digits. Today, they were laughing about his stints in the school plays. 

“You really never struck me as someone so passionate about acting Harry.” She laughed while munching on a bag of Veggie Straws he brought her. 

“Well if you’re gonna judge me and tell me I’m bad, I’m gonna defend myself!” He shot back, feigning being offended. 

“Did you even like acting? You weren’t part of the athletes or the drama club. You were just an overachieving rich kid huh?” She asked, poking fun. She was genuinely intrigued to know who Harry Bingham really was though. 

“To be honest, I think I only started acting to one up your sister. Most people don’t know this, but I kind of was nerdy. I wanted to have the best grades and get into the best college I could. I wanted people to think I was something. Cassandra was the only person who ever threatened that perfect image I had in my head.” The playfulness left the conversation and Allie almost felt bad for Harry. She never thought there would be someone else who could relate to living in Cassandra’s shadow. Then she felt immediately guilty for thinking that. Before she could answer, he started again. 

“I don’t think I knew who I was then. And I definitely don’t know who I am now.” He stared off to the side, avoiding eye contact again. Whenever he admitted anything real, he couldn’t look her in the eye. 

“Harry…Why are you suddenly so comfortable telling me all this?” It had been bugging her for a while. The random closeness the two of them developed, all while she was locked up. Apparently, the only way the two of them could be friends was if one was in jail. Harry looked at her and shrugged. Clearly, he was done sharing for the day. 

That night, Allie sat there replaying the conversation in her head, getting angrier and angrier. She was becoming his personal confessional. He could come and confess all his sins and walk away feeling lighter, while she sat there, punished, for lies he hasn’t even apologized for. And she let him. She bought the bait and forgave him and talked with him and laughed with him because it felt nice. Well she was ready to feel bad again. 

His next visit, she was ready to fight. His last visit lit a fire in her again. She missed the way anger boiled in her, spreading from her heart to the rest of her. She liked the way her skin started tingling as the blood rushed through her. She wanted to know why she hadn’t had any word on her fate or Will’s. Should she be preparing for death? Or is her punishment rotting in this wine cellar forever? Harry had distracted her from these questions, but today they drowned everything else out. Her head was flooded with the sound of her own heartbeat and her questions. When he walked in, she felt hot all over. When he opened the door, she stood up and got in his face. 

“Why am I just fucking rotting in here? You come down here every day like were fucking friends now, but I’m your prisoner. I’m in prison because you lied. Am I just a game to you? Is my life just a fucking game? Do me a fucking favor, and kill me already. It’s better than sitting in here talking to you.” She stood there, a few inches away from his face, fuming. He looked bewildered, and oddly enough hurt. But she could tell he had no intention of fueling the flames of her anger. He dropped the bag of food he brought her and sighed heavily. He backed up to the wall, and slid down slowly, dropping his head in his hands. 

“Don’t say that. Don’t want to die.” He was still holding his head in his hands. 

“I don’t fucking get it Harry. Is this all out of guilt? You come down here and act nice so you can sleep at night. I brought her some fucking food and made her laugh so now I don’t need to think about the fact that I falsely imprisoned her and inspired a kid to kill her sister. It’s fucking bullshit.” Allie was still standing up, looking down at him, arms folded across her chest. Harry pulled his knees closer to himself. He looked like a small child. 

“I’m sorry.” He barely whispered it. 

“You’re fucking sorry.” She replied back, almost sarcastically. 

“I don’t know what else to say. I can’t take back what I did. I don’t sleep at night. I have nightmares always. I think about you and your sister every day. I’m haunted by you both.” He still was looking down. Allie’s chest rose and fell rapidly. A part of her wanted to feel bad, and a small voice in her head kept telling her he was tortured. But she pushed that voice deep down and kept on her warpath. 

“You can go tell everyone the truth. And get me out of this fucking wine cellar. But you’re a coward and you’re weak. And I’d rather fucking die than spend one more day in this cellar, pretending that we’re friends. Put me on trial, I’ll say I’m guilty. And then let me die.” Allie turned her back to him and slunk to her corner of the cellar where her blanket and pillow laid. Without looking back, she said “get out”, in a barely audible whisper. He barely made any noise as he left. 

Allie felt like shit that night. She tossed and turned, dreaming of her sister and her parents. She kept seeing Cassandra shot, a pool of blood around her, but when she looked up, Allie was the one holding the gun. She dreamed of her own death and saw Harry pull the trigger as he stared at her with lifeless eyes. She woke up in a cold sweat. The next day Harry didn’t come. Only the guard to bring her a meal and let her use the bathroom. She was starting to taste regret creeping up her throat the more she thought about Harry. But she swallowed it down and reminded herself that this was her life. It was fucked up and painful and she would die with her only happy memories of the time before New Ham. She made herself cold again, and that was what she needed to be. 

The following day, Helena came down with the guard during the lunch delivery. She sent them away and opened the wine cellar door. She pulled up the same chair Harry had been pulling out for weeks. 

“Allie, I am here as your representation for your trial. It starts tomorrow.” She was trying to sound even-toned, but Allie could tell she was bothered by something. 

“Thanks. Can’t wait.” Allie replied snarkily. 

“Allie. I need to ask. Why did you do it? I expected so much more of you. I trusted you. We all did.” Helena admitted. She looked so disappointed. Allie’s anger was re-ignited all over again. 

“No reason. I’m as guilty as they come. Will didn’t have any part of it. So, protect him, Helena. I’ll admit my guilt tomorrow and take all the blame. Meeting adjourned.” She stared Helena directly in the eyes. Helena still looked unsettled. She was going to say something then stopped. So, Allie spoke up. 

“You can’t trust anyone in New Ham anymore. Be wary. See you tomorrow.” Allie turned her back, just as she did to Harry, and waited for Helena to leave. She knew Helena wouldn’t get what she meant, but she felt good knowing she warned someone before she died. 

Allie didn’t sleep that night. She sat in her cell, and made her peace with whatever stupid god was punishing her. She apologized for all her selfish thoughts and actions and asked that the universe protect the people of New Ham. Even the bad ones. She tried to remember any prayers from church she learned as a kid and recited them. When she was done with her atonement, she sat in the cold cellar and let herself cry for the second time since her imprisonment. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Her body shook until she ran out of tears and just sat in the dark, sniffling. Allie kept asking to die and part of her really did mean it. But another part of her would miss her friends so much. Grizz, Gordie, Bean, Becca, Sam. She thought about poor Elle, and about how sweet Kelly is. She thought of Will. Poor Will who got sucked into this mess just by association. He shouldn’t be punished. The only thing she knew for sure, was that tomorrow she would ensure Will’s freedom. Her mind finally landed on Harry. She tried too hard to make herself hate him. She thought about the idea of hating him over and over again, but she truly couldn’t do it. Their little sessions were some of the happiest memories she had since Cassandra died. He made her laugh, and she finally got a small glimpse into who he was, and who he could be. But he was also the man that left her in here to die. Her thoughts about Harry were interrupted by the guard. They opened the cell and demanded she stands up. Luke couldn’t look at her as Jason and Clark roughly handcuffed her hands behind her back and pushed her up the stairs. They stuffed her into a van, just like the day she was accused of this stupid crime. 

They pushed open the church doors, and everyone turned. Allie felt all eyes on her, but she kept her eyes forward. The whole town showed up for this show. She looked towards the front, where Harry and Lexie sat with Campbell slightly off to the side. The two tables were set up just like in Dewey’s trial, and Allie was guided to the left one. They pushed her down into her seat aggressively. She finally looked up at Harry, and he was already staring at her. She couldn’t read his face, but his eyes bore into hers. 

The trial started. Campbell was the lawyer for the town, and he was laying out beautifully told lies that made the crowd gasp in horror and disappointment. Allie didn’t give Helena anything to help her case. Helena just tried to say the only evidence came from the guard, and there was no one else to confirm their stories. It was a good point, but Allie knew it wasn’t enough. It felt like it was taking forever, and Allie was getting impatient. She didn’t care what was said, she knew what she was doing. They finally called her up to the stand. 

Campbell looked happier than Allie had ever seen him as he approached the stand. He smiled big and started. 

“So, Allie, would you like to rebuke the claims being made against you?” He leaned against the stand, looking out to the crowd, and then Allie. 

“No. I’m guilty. But Will isn’t. I did this completely on my own, and no one else knew. I didn’t trust anyone else to help me properly. Please, do not punish anyone else for my mistakes.” Campbell looked at her, almost impressed. He expected her to put on a show. The crowd was gasping, but Allie had blurred vision. She still had one more thing to do. 

“And you should execute me. It’s the only way to keep order.” Now the crowd was really talking, and Campbell actually looked confused. He moved closed to her and whispered.

“What game are you playing Allie?” He asked. 

“None. Please kill me. I’ve never asked anything of you Campbell. But please, kill me. Don’t let me rot in a cell. We’re family. I don’t know if that means anything anymore, but please. I’m begging you.” Campbell stared at her, scrutinizing her face. He still didn’t trust what she was saying, so she whispered another please. He stared for a minute longer and gave a slight nod. Allie breathed a sigh of relief. 

Campbell looked toward Harry and Lexie and nodded. Lexie spoke. 

“This trial has come to an end. At the request of the defendant, she will be executed. Execution is set for two days from today.” The crowd was murmuring intensely, all stealing glances at Allie. She looked up, and Harry was staring at her intensely. He looked angry. Allie looked away and closed her eyes. She started to get up so the guard could take her back to her cell when Harry finally spoke. 

“Allie is not going to be executed. She did not try to steal the election. It was a lie created by myself, Lexie, Campbell, and the guard. I step down from my role as mayor.” Allie looked around, first finding Helena. She looked absolutely shell-shocked. But she was staring at Luke, not Harry. Luke was looking down, avoiding all eye contact with anyone. The room was quiet for just a few moments, and then chaos ensued. Everyone was talking at once, the crowd, Campbell, Jason, Clark. Only Allie, Helena, Luke and Harry were silent. People were yelling and pointing wildly. Allie stared at Harry in disbelief. He sat back down at stared at his hands. It was Grizz who finally decided to do something about the craziness. 

“Everyone be quiet! We will put together a committee, an unbiased, fair committee, to investigate these claims. We will meet back here tomorrow at 9 AM to vote on who will be on the committee. Everyone go home! That includes Allie and Will. And everyone Harry just mentioned is free to go home as well. There’s nowhere to escape to anyway.” Allie smiled. Grizz would be a great leader if he wanted to be one. He walked over to Clark and Jason demanded the keys. They said no at first until Luke finally spoke up.

“Are you fucking kidding me guys? Give him the keys. Jesus Christ.” Luke walked away and glanced at Helena who just stared at him, slowly walking out of the church entrance.

Everyone emptied out of the church, except for Gordie, Grizz, Sam, Bean, and Becca. Allie’s friends greeted her with hugs and Allie actually felt tears forming. She never thought this was how the day would end. She was ready for death. For a split second, she looked up at the church ceiling and thanked whatever god saved her ass. They all agreed to go back to Allie’s place, but Grizz was going to get Will first. Allie almost didn’t believe she was in reality. It felt like a dream, that this could have gone this way. That her friend was in charge of making sure she was proven innocent. Harry confessed to the crime. As she walked home surrounded by laughs and giggles, something in the back of her mind kept tugging at her. At the last minute, she told her friends she’d be back in twenty and turned left. They look concerned, but she promised them she’d be quick. She walked briskly in the cold, each step making her feel lighter. She finally reached her destination and looked up. Harry Bingham’s house. She rang the bell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie and Harry face blowback from Harry's confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like where the story is going!! Pls let me know if you guys like/dislike anything, I wana know your opinions!

Allie waited impatiently at the front door. She started to think he wasn’t home when the door finally opened. Allie was surprised to see Kelly smiling widely at her.

“Allie!” Kelly grabbed her around the neck and pulled her in for a hug. Allie awkwardly placed her hands around Kelly, waiting for this moment to be over. She was grateful for Kelly being on her side, but she still didn’t feel like they were close really.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I never believed them.” Kelly broke the hug and stared at her earnestly.

“Thanks, Kelly. I appreciate it. Hopefully, people believe Harry.” Allie said.

“Are you here to see Harry? He’s in the shower but I’m sure he’ll be done in a few.” Kelly opened the door wider, inviting her inside, but Allie shook her head.

“It’s okay. Just tell Harry I said thanks for everything.” Kelly smiled and squeezed Allie’s hand. Allie turned on her heel and started walking back towards her house. Her stomach was twisted in a knot and she didn’t know why. She didn’t know why seeing Kelly had thrown her off. She didn’t even know why she wanted to see Harry after what she said to him. But he did save her life, and at least he’ll know she was thankful for that.

* * *

 Harry felt ten times lighter now that he told the truth, but he knew his victory was short lived. He was going to be found guilty soon enough. He left the church pretty quickly after his confession and bee-lined straight for his house. He collapsed on the couch and minutes later Kelly was knocking aggressively on the door. When he opened it, she hugged him.

“Thank you, Harry. For doing the right thing.” She was holding onto him tight, and he forgot how much he missed human contact. He let go of her and sat down on the couch. He knew she was going to ask questions so he waited for them.

“So what really happened?” Harry sighed and thought about the events of the past few months. He wasn’t going to tell Kelly about the drugs, he knew that much. He was still addicted to them. Campbell would definitely cut him off now, but Harry was holding hope that he’d find someone else selling.

“I was tired of the way things were. Feeling like I was nothing. Campbell convinced me overthrowing Allie was the best solution to that problem. I was stupid and I listened to him.” Harry paused. He told her the rest of what went down with the guard and the deal with Lexie.

“Why did you decide to tell the truth?” He watched her stare at him, knowing she was waiting for some inspirational answer that he didn’t have. And he knew it was because of Allie. But he didn’t want to tell Kelly that. No one knew about his visits to Allie. Harry wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep them secret either, but something about them felt different, or special. He went with a half-truth.

“I was tired of being an asshole. And I couldn’t be responsible for another death.” Harry looked up and saw Kelly holding back tears. She came over to his side of the couch and held his hand.

“I am so proud of you Harry. You’re a good person.” Her words echoed in his head and he remembered when Allie said the same thing during her imprisonment. They were probably the only two people who ever thought that of him. He knew it wasn’t true though. He squeezed Kelly’s hand and went upstairs to take a shower.

He ran the water scorching hot so that it was almost burning his skin. He stood there with his head upwards, eyes closed, feeling the steady rhythm of droplets hit his face. For the first time in months, his mind felt clear. But he knew that in three days he’d be a mess again. He only had three days of pills left. He wanted to start asking around to see if anyone was dealing, but he didn’t even know where to start. He also was half expecting Campbell to show up at his house and try to kill him. He made sure all his doors and windows were locked earlier.

At some point, Harry swore he heard the bell ring and assumed it was Campbell coming to deal with him. He prayed Kelly would know better than to open the door. He stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and went into the hallway. He listened closely, preparing to go help Kelly if things got bad. He heard Kelly but couldn’t make out her words, so he moved closer to the stairs. Then he heard another voice and froze. He recognized it immediately. It was Allie. Harry stood planted in his spot at the foot of the stairs, listening to them talk. He hadn’t spoken to her since she yelled at him in the wine cellar. Her words had been on repeat since then. He couldn’t admit how much it bothered him to realize how much he had hurt her. He thought his visits were a good thing. It didn’t occur to him that he was using her to clear his own conscious. She was right when she said it, but not completely. He really liked hanging out with her. She was so funny and bright. When he visited her, he always felt hopeful afterward. Like life might actually be okay one day.

He snapped back to reality when he heard Kelly say he was showering and he waited for Allie’s response. He heard her say “tell Harry thanks for everything”. The door shut, and Kelly’s footsteps receded back to the couch. He stood there for another minute repeating Allie’s words in his head over and over again. She wanted to thank him. It pissed him off that she was thanking him. He did the bare minimum by confessing. He fucked her over in so many ways already. He walked into his bedroom and sat on his bed, stuck on Allie and her thank you. He didn’t even realize he left the shower running.

* * *

 When Allie returned to her house, there was music playing, beer going around, and happy voices everywhere. Gordie ran to her and put a beer in her hand, and everyone turned to cheers her after. That’s when she saw Will. He nearly ran to her and picked her up in a tight hug. She hugged him tightly back, relieved to see he was okay.

“We survived Allie.” He put her down from their hug and held her hands with his own. He smiled so big, that Allie couldn’t stop herself from grinning back. She pulled him back into a hug one more time and walked over to the couch to sit with Gordie, Bean, and Grizz who were playing Mario Kart. She settled in and grabbed the fourth controller.

A few hours later, Allie lay in her bed, remembering how much she missed it. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about what was coming next. She still wasn’t in the clear. If Campbell, Lexie, and the Guard can convince enough people Harry is lying, she’ll be right back in jail. She knew it also didn’t help that she said she was guilty in front of the whole town, but she didn’t know Harry was going, to tell the truth. Her relief was mixed with trepidation as she considered all the possibilities of the next few days. At this point, there was only one person that had worse odds than her, and it was Harry. The thought unsettled her and she longed to talk to him again, just as they did before. Suddenly, her door opened and she shot up in bed, fearing the worst. It was just Will.

“Hey, Allie.” He said in a low voice. He shut the door behind him and sat down on her bed.

“Hey. Can’t sleep?” She replied. He stared at her silently for a minute, and she looked away starting to feel uncomfortable. When she looked back, Will grabbed her face lightly, pulling it towards him, and kissed her. Allie immediately backed herself up and away from him. Will looked hurt and confused.

“I can’t do this right now Will. It’s too much.” She knew it was a shit answer, and it wasn’t fair, but something changed in her. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew she didn’t want to be with Will. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be with anyone.

“The whole time I was locked up, all I thought about was you. Getting back to you, hoping and praying you were okay. Why do you keep pushing me away?” The look on his face made Allie want to crumble.

“I wanted you to be okay too.” That was all Allie could muster up.

“They told me what you said during your trial today. How you were going to take all the blame and make sure they let me go free. I don’t understand. I thought we cared about each other. So, why are things different now?” He sounded so sad. Allie took a minute to gather her thoughts, but they were a mess. She only knew how she felt.

“I care about you so much. I just don’t think I can be with you right now. Not in the way you want. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” Seeing him so hurt broke her, but she had to tell him the truth. Will stared at her, waiting to see if she’d say more, but Allie had nothing else to say, at least nothing he wanted to hear. She wanted to beg him not to hate her, to understand that she loved him, but that she could only be his friend. But she knew it would only hurt him more. So she watched as he left, barely closing the door behind him.

Allie tried to sleep, but she tossed and turned plagued by the same nightmares she had in the wine cellar. She turned over and saw her clock said 4:45 AM. She got up, got dressed in sweats and a big sweatshirt, put on her sneakers and went for a walk.

She didn’t have any specific idea where she was going. She counted how many rooms had lights on, which was only four so far, and counted how many cars were parked in driveways. She listened to the birds that were preparing for sunrise. The cool air made her feel calm, and being outside felt like a blessing. She reminded herself it was important to find the good, especially when things are bad. She walked the town for an hour, going her same pace, taking everything in. She hadn’t seen the outside world for weeks. Even if New Ham wasn’t home, it was still better than a wine cellar.

When she got back it was 6:00 in the morning. The town meeting was in three hours so she decided to shower and get ready. She had killed an hour between her shower, getting dressed, and doing her hair. The house was still quiet. She walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. They had some eggs, cheese, milk, and bread. It was good enough. She took out all the eggs and cheese and started cooking up omelets for everyone in the house. Grizz and Sam came down first, smiling big at the smell of breakfast. Everyone else soon followed, and Allie felt like she was having family breakfast. Gordie joked she had used all their rations for the week on the breakfast. Bean told him to be quiet since he couldn’t even cook a good breakfast if his life depended on it. Allie sat at the end of the table, smiling at how lucky her life was. Even Will was laughing, but he wouldn’t look at Allie. At least he was smiling though.

They all walked together to the church for the meeting Grizz set up. The whole town was there again, but Allie noticed an absent Campbell and Elle. She thought about how rough Elle has probably had it through all of this but made a small prayer to the god she asked to save her, to do the same for Elle. She scanned the room and could tell people were uneasy and scared. Grizz was about to start talking when Harry walked in interrupting. He immediately sat in the back row and lowered his head. Everyone was staring at him, so Grizz coughed to get their attention again. Grizz laid out how it was going to work. First, anyone can be nominated, whether by themselves or someone else. Then after all the nominations were in, they would anonymously cast a vote for the 7 people they wanted to make up the council. None of the people involved in the case were allowed to vote or sit on the council, which made sense. Allie reminded herself to tell Grizz he was doing a great job.

Allie stopped paying attention as the nominations began and let her mind wander. She sat on the side of the church, outside of the rows on extra chairs people brought in. Her arms were crossed over her chest tightly, and her hair was up in a ponytail. She was frowning too. She thought she probably looked scary right now. She found herself looking in Harry’s direction, just wanting a glimpse of his face to see if he was alright. He kept his eyes down, not once looking up.

After the nominations, Grizz asked anyone involved in the case to leave while they commenced the voting. The guard walked out together, minus Luke who sulked by himself out of the church. Allie noticed Helena was not sitting near him today and did not look over at him at all when he left. He was staring at her though. Will was already in the back of the church and looked over at Allie, but then turned around and left. Harry was already missing from his seat. Allie stood up and walked out, not wanting to go home, but not wanting to stay there. She saw Will walking towards the house and decided she would not be going in that direction. She decided to walk towards the gazebo, which looked empty, to sit as peacefully as she could with her thoughts.

When she got there, she froze in her tracks. Harry was sitting in the gazebo, head in his hands, just like she last saw him. For a second she considered turning around and walking somewhere else, but something inside her wanted her to stay. She took a seat next to him and said nothing. He glanced up at her through tired eyes, his dark circles looking haunting. It almost scared Allie, how messed up he looked.

“Are you okay?” She asked nervously.

“You don’t have to do that,” Harry replied back with no emotion.

“Do what?” Allie’s stomach was turning over, and that same knot she felt yesterday was back.

“Ask if I’m okay. Feel guilty that I confessed, so now you’re being nice. You don’t have to thank me or whatever. You can hate me just like before.” Harry didn’t look at her when saying any of this. Allie was surprised to hear the word hate. She doesn’t think she ever hated Harry, only tried to and failed. But she knew why he thought she did.

“I’m sorry for what I said in the cellar. I was just angry.” Allie said.

“Don’t do that. Jesus, please don’t do that.” He stood up, his anger was sudden and forceful. She stared at him, silent.

“Don’t apologize to me. I had you fucking locked up for a crime you didn’t commit. Your sister died because of me. Stop being fucking sorry, I don’t deserve it.” He was looming over her, his hair mussed and his eyes dark. The knot in her stomach felt like a hole now. She didn’t know this side of Harry. She wished she could reach out and touch him, tell him she really meant what she said. Tell him he would be okay. But she couldn’t do either of those things. She got up and started walking away from the gazebo while Harry watched. She wasn't going to say anything, but she couldn't stop herself.

“I never hated you, Harry.” He lifted his eyes towards her, and there was finally a break from the anger. Now he just looked broken. Allie walked back towards the church and didn’t look back once.

Allie texted Gordie for an update and Gordie came outside. He left the church door slightly ajar so Allie could hear what was going on. He told Allie they had picked six people for the committee, but there was debate over the seventh. So far, Grizz, Gwen, Bean, Sam, Jessica, and Blake were picked. The debate was over Helena. She had actually received the second most votes, but someone brought up that Luke was being investigated, which would make her biased. Grizz was for Helena being on the council since the majority of people voted for her, but a few people were still expressing their discontent. Allie watched through the small slit in the door as Helena stood up and walked to the front.

“I have been a lawyer for this town, not even by choice, twice now. I wasn’t biased in those trials, and I won’t be in this one. I don’t care what Luke chose to do. He made his own mistakes. I’m here to listen to all sides, and figure out what the truth is.” She walked back to her seat and the crowd continued murmuring. Someone stood up and said that Helena should be the seventh investigator. There was a unison agreement in the church, and the committee on election fraud was created.

* * *

 Harry was told by Kelly, who was told by Becca, who was told by Sam, his hearing would be the first one of the investigation. He couldn’t believe how quickly they organized this whole thing, he was almost impressed. They created the committee the day before and were interviewing him today. Harry spent all of yesterday trying to figure out if people were selling drugs. He couldn’t find anyone else selling beside Campbell. Tomorrow he would officially run out of pills, and he didn’t know what he was going to do to cope. At least he had them today so he could get through this interview.

He showed up at the church five minutes late. The committee was sitting at a long table towards the front, papers, and pens out ready to take notes. They looked really official. He saw a chair set up in front of the table, and sat down.

“Harry, you have claimed that a plan was made to frame Allie and Will for election fraud by yourself, Lexie, Campbell, and the Guard. Please explain this in full.” It was Grizz who spoke, but they all stared at him intently waiting for his reply. Harry sighed and then started. He told the whole story of what happened, minus the drugs. Campbell convinced everyone. Harry was miserable so he went along with it. The committee would stop him every so often to ask for clarification or more details. It took him about ten minutes to finish the story. He stared at them as they all took notes, some whispering in each other's ear.

“Why did you decide to tell the truth?” It was Helena who asked. She looked like she had become ice. Harry hadn’t expected them to ask him that. He was going to be as honest as he could.

“I’ve done enough fucked up shit. I was tired of being an asshole.” He didn’t know if it was a good answer, but it was a big part of the truth.  
“But you were ready to go to trial. To hand them sentences. It feels very random that you suddenly had a change of heart during the trial. Something must have happened that we don’t know about. Did Campbell say something? Did someone threaten to confess? What specifically inspired you to tell the truth?” It was Helena still pressing him. He almost laughed at how wrong they were about why he confessed. Harry looked up at the ceiling and let his thoughts swirl around in his head. He knew his answer to this, but he didn’t know if it was something he wanted to tell them. It felt too personal to say. He also thought they might not believe him. He looked back at them and said nothing.

“You have to answer the question, Harry.” That was Grizz this time. Harry rubbed his temples with his hands and leaned on his knees. He stared at the floor when he talked.

“It was Allie. When she asked to be executed. That’s when I decided to confess.” The panel was silent. Harry glanced up and saw Grizz staring at him, trying to analyze him.

“Wait. I don’t get it. You literally lied and arrested her but then you didn’t want her to be executed?” It was Gwen asking now.

“Yes.” Harry looked at her, not giving anything else. Gwen wasn’t satisfied though.

“Why?” She asked. Harry sighed and considered his answer.

“Because I didn’t want her to die. She didn’t deserve to die.” The committee all stared at him, silent. Grizz was about to let him go when Gwen spoke up again.

“But why, Harry? You literally threw her in jail. You hated her, your story makes no sense.” Grizz almost looked annoyed at Gwen’s persistence, as if he understood Harry’s motives already, and Gwen didn’t. Harry didn’t know how to convince them he meant it. He didn’t want to tell them about his visits to her. They felt private and special. So he decided he wouldn’t tell them anything else.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Gwen! I don’t know what to tell you.” He did his best to look visibly annoyed.

“You’re free to go, Harry. We might need to call on you again throughout the investigation as more questions come up.” Harry gave Grizz a thumbs up and walked out of the church. He could hear Gwen sounding exasperated, unsure of how she was supposed to believe he suddenly cared about Allie. He could barely believe it himself.

* * *

Allie went through her committee interview after Harry. She was walking up to the church as he left. He barely even acknowledged he saw her, glancing in her direction then away. He walked right past her, to wherever he was going. It felt so strange getting the cold shoulder from him after talking to him was part of her daily routine. She stopped watching Harry and pushed into the church.

Her interview was short and to the point. She told her version of the events trying to include any and every detail she could think of. She thought she would be done after they went through the story twice, but then Helena asked her a question that felt out of left field.

“When did you and Harry decide to join the same side?” Helena stared at her, not showing any kind of emotion in her face. Allie looked at Grizz, confused, but he nodded for her to answer. Allie considered the question. She wouldn’t say they’re on the same side. But she knows he isn’t her enemy. She wondered why they felt the need to ask her this. Harry must have said something that made them think the two of them colluded together. Allie wasn’t sure how to proceed, so she gave a cautious answer.

“We didn’t decide to join the same side. I don’t know what that even means honestly. I didn’t know he was going to confess.” Allie shrugged her shoulders, hoping her answer would be enough for them. She didn’t want to tell them about his visits. They may view them the wrong way, and they also just felt private. She didn’t want to discuss them with other people.

Helena studied her but Allie got the okay to leave. She spent the rest of the day hanging out with Gordie and Becca in the house, playing with baby Eden. Around 10 PM, Bean walked in looking exhausted. Allie knew she should give her a minute to unwind, but she was dying for information.

“So Bean, how did it go?” Allie chewed on her bottom lip, waiting for Bean’s reply. Bean collapsed on the couch and sighed.

“We interviewed everyone except Luke. He wouldn’t say anything the whole time. You should have seen the look on Helena’s face. Right now, it’s you, Harry, and Will saying it was a coup, and the rest are saying you’re lying. There’s so little evidence it’s hard to even pick which side is right. Oh, and you didn’t hear any of this from me.”

“Wasn’t Luke the one who said he heard Allie and Will talking about fixing the election? I think it makes them look that much more innocent now that Luke didn’t show up.” Becca said. Allie hadn’t even known that Luke said that. The feeling of betrayal she was able to bury was coming back up. She had trusted Luke.

“I don’t disagree with you Becca, but that still isn’t evidence. We can’t just call someone guilty because it feels like they’re guilty.” Allie knew what Bean said was true, but she felt bitter.

“That’s what happened to me. Campbell felt like throwing me in jail, and he did, and no one stopped him. If Harry didn’t say anything, Will and I would still be in prison for a crime we didn’t commit. So I don’t understand what fair even is anymore.” Allie crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Bean defensively.

“Allie, I’m sorry, but this town can’t be run on chaos. And you’re the one who taught me that. If there isn’t any proof of what they did or some kind of confession from more than just Harry, we can’t just throw them in jail because it feels right.” Bean looked so tired of talking about this whole situation. Allie felt bad for her outburst, so she sat down on the couch and put an arm around Bean.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re doing what’s right. We just need to find a better way to run this place.” Allie laid her head on Bean’s shoulder and stared at the tv.

“Yeah, we do. I’m working on it.” Bean replied quietly.

* * *

 As usual, Allie couldn’t sleep through the night. She got up, threw on her comfortable clothes and sneakers, and went for a 4 AM walk. After about twenty minutes, she found herself on Harry’s block. She stopped and stared at his house for a minute, wondering how he was. She decided to ring the bell. Part of Allie was expecting Kelly to open the door again, or maybe for no one to answer at all. It was early. But after about two minutes, Harry appeared. His hair looked messy, his skin looked pale, and his eyes were outlined by dark circles. Allie thought this was the worse she’d ever seen him.

“Wow, you look like shit.” She said.

“Did you come all the way here at 4 AM just to tell me that?” He replied back.

“No. I didn’t know you were gonna look like shit.”

“Allie, why are you here?” he sounded slightly annoyed now. Allie couldn’t blame him considering the time and her greeting.

“Take a walk with me.” She smiled a little, hoping it would resolve her previous comments.

“Do I have to?” He asked back.

“No. Forget it. Sorry, I woke you up.” Allie turned around and started walking back towards the street. She felt a little disappointed she wouldn’t get to talk with him. She missed it.

“I wasn’t asleep.” She looked back surprised to see Harry still at the door, watching her. She didn’t say anything. “Let me grab my shoes.” She turned around and hid her smile so he wouldn’t see.

The two of them walked in mutual silence for half a mile or so. She felt like she should say something since she asked him to come on this walk, but she kind of liked how quiet it was. She could make out the rustle of the trees, the tiny insects communicating, and birds starting to wake up. And their footsteps, perfectly in sync. The air was cool on her face, and a light breeze was picking leaves up off the street and lawns. Allie watched as they danced in the air, trying to guess where they would land. She felt like nature was even more beautiful when it thought no one was watching it. She heard Harry’s voice, but she was so lost in her head, she had no idea what he said. She asked him to repeat it.

“I said, do you know anything about the investigation?” He glanced at her, and then away.

“Yeah, some stuff. There isn’t enough evidence to figure out who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. Luke refused to talk during his interview. They’re trying to grapple with a solution to it all.”

“Luke didn’t talk?” Harry asked incredulously.

“No, not one word.” Harry didn’t reply, so Allie looked over to see what he was feeling. He looked angry. She almost wanted to ask why, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t tell her the truth. So she asked the question that's been burning in her head all day.

“What did you say to the committee about us?” Allie tried to sound nonchalant, but she was nervous.

“Nothing. I didn’t talk about the visits if that's what you mean.” He was looking at her, interested in where this was going.

“They asked me when the two of us joined sides. Like they think we’re colluding together or something. I didn’t even talk about you during my session, so I’m guessing they got the idea from you.” Allie watched as different emotions passed through Harry’s face. She couldn’t read most of them, but he ended up with an innocent, soft look on his face.

“Well, I told them I only decided to tell the truth because you were going to be executed. Gwen couldn’t believe that. She kept asking what it even meant.” Allie knew her face as giving her away because she was shocked. She knew Harry was trying to be a better person and make up for his mistakes, but she didn’t think she had much to do with it. She knew Harry only shared what he wanted, but she couldn’t help but press him further.

“What does it mean?” She kept her eyes on the ground in front of her, not wanting to look at him. She tried to keep her pace steady and waited for his reply. She wasn’t sure she was going to get one, he was quiet for so long.

“I didn’t want you to die, especially because of me.” Allie was hoping for a better answer, but she still felt a warm feeling when he said it.

“That might be the nicest thing you ever said to me.” She looked at him and smirked, and he was smiling right back. His smile almost made her forget how bad he looked. But the longer she looked at his face the more uneasy she felt. It must have shown on her face because Harry started frowning.

“What? What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Harry...if you’re not okay, you can tell me. I really am worried about you. I don’t know what’s going on, but I want to help.” Harry immediately turned away from her and shut himself down. She watched as his shoulders tensed, his pace quickened, and his face became unreadable.

“I’m fine.” He didn’t look at her. She didn’t say anything else for the rest of their walk and neither did he. The calmness she felt earlier had dissipated and was replaced by uneasiness from the anger pooling off of Harry. The silence was only broken once when they got to his house and he continued walking. She asked where he was going, and while staring straight ahead he said walking her home. She wanted to feel nice about that, but she couldn't with how closed off he had become.

When they got to her house, Allie turned around and Harry was already walking away. She was going to let him go, but something made her want to reach out one more time. She called his name and he stopped, turning around to look at her. Allie closed the space between them and grabbed his hand. She looked into his tired, but beautiful brown eyes and said thank you. He couldn’t keep eye contact with her and looked down almost immediately. It made that hole in her stomach feel ten times bigger. She went to pull her hand away, and right as she did he squeezed it once. Then he let go. He half-turned around to walk away but gave her a crooked smile and wave goodbye first. Allie turned to go inside, processing how she should feel about her morning walk with Harry. She was so caught up in her head, she didn’t even realize Harry wasn’t walking in the direction of his house.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry walked briskly, hands in his pockets, head looking down. He tried his best to focus on what he was going to say, but his walk with Allie kept replaying itself in his head. He didn’t understand how she could always see right through him. Kelly knew something was wrong too, but not in the way Allie did. Whenever she sat there studying him, he swore she could see all his guilt, insecurity, and self-loathing. It made him feel stripped down like he couldn’t hide anything from her. But she never probed him too much, only ever asking if he was okay. At least she left him with his dignity to not have to say all of it aloud. 

 

He was starting to feel nauseous and there was sweat dripping down the back of his neck, even though it was cold out. He hadn’t had any pills in 13 hours now. He was so distracted by everything going on he almost tricked himself into forgetting about the pills. But he felt the craving starting to claw itself into his brain. He knew he’d be a wreck soon, but he had to get through this. He wasn’t dying, not yet. 

 

Helena’s house looked dark and Harry considered coming back later in the day. But he wanted to fix this problem now. He knocked on the front door and waited. When no one answered, he rang the bell hoping Helena wouldn’t yell at him for waking her up this early. She opened the door, hair in a bun, wearing a fuzzy robe, looking colder than ever. 

 

“What?” Was all she said to him.

 

“I’m looking for Luke. Is he here?” Helena swung the door open wide and gestured behind her. Harry walked into the house and looked into the living room, where Luke was asleep on the couch. Harry noticed piles of clothes, shoes, and other random things around the couch and wondered if Luke had been staying in the living room for a while. Helena was already walking upstairs when Harry turned to thank her. 

 

He walked over to the couch and started saying Luke’s name with no response. Harry started lightly shaking him, and still nothing. Finally, Harry shook him hard and yelled “Luke!” directly into his ear. Luke jolted awake almost banging heads with Harry as he shot up. 

 

“What the fuck dude!” Luke yelled at Harry. A few seconds later his face went from surprise to suspicion and he asked, “What are you doing here?” 

 

“Come talk with me outside. Now.” Harry waited for Luke to nod, then headed back to the front door and waited on the porch. About two minutes later, Luke was beside him. 

 

“What do you want?” Luke stared at Harry, clearly having no idea what Harry was doing there. 

 

“Why aren’t you confessing? If you told the truth, all of this would be over. Campbell would get thrown in jail and we would probably just get some minor punishment because we came clean.” 

 

“I should have known. Harry is always looking out for Harry. I don’t know why you confessed in the first place, but I know what this is. I’m not saving your ass. It’s five against two.” 

 

“This isn’t about me. And you’re lying. I see Helena has kicked you out of the bedroom? Why’s that? She doesn’t believe you either I guess?” Luke immediately looked up at Harry with hurt in his eyes. 

 

“You don’t know shit, Bingham. Don’t talk about Helena.” 

 

“You might as well tell the truth. She’s going to doubt you forever if you don’t.” Now Luke looked angry, and Harry flinched when he started yelling. 

 

“Shut up! I can’t tell her the truth! She doesn’t even know if I’m lying yet and she already hates me. If I go in there and tell the truth, she will never forgive me. Never. And I can’t lose her.” His voice lowered when he said the last part and Harry felt bad for him. 

 

“She loves you, dude. She will forgive you. The truth sets you free or some dumb saying like that.” 

 

“She thought I was a good person, and if I tell the truth she’ll know I’m not. And being good is the most important thing to her. I’m not saying anything Harry. I’m sorry. I doubt they’ll go too hard on you.” He shrugged and turned to walk back into the house. Harry grabbed his shoulder and held onto it. He spoke in a low, hoarse whisper. He was angry now. 

 

“This isn’t about me. If you don’t confess, Allie will get thrown back into jail. And knowing Campbell, he’ll find some type of way to get her executed. You’re are sentencing Allie to death. Again.” Luke studied Harry’s face for a while. Harry relaxed his expression, trying not to give his emotions away. He could see Luke was trying to piece together the puzzle, why Harry would care if Allie died. Harry held his breath waiting for a reply, hoping he said the right thing, made the right argument Luke looked away and sighed and Harry felt like he might have gotten through to him. 

 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Luke moved out of Harry’s grip and into the house. He shut the door without a glance in Harry’s direction. Harry felt all his hope evaporate and started walking home in the cold morning air. He started playing out ideas in his head, who he could talk to, what he could say, anything to protect Allie from the verdict the committee was going to give. But his thoughts were getting clouded. His head was pounding and he felt himself sweating underneath his jacket. His stomach was in a permanent knot and he knew he would have to throw up soon. He could taste nausea as it slowly climbed from his stomach to his throat.  But Harry wanted to do one more thing to do before he let himself give in. He had to clear his head, then he would fix this the best he could. He had to for Allie. 

* * *

 

Harry called Grizz ten minutes ago. He was sitting on the sidewalk in front of his house waiting. It was almost 8:00 AM. He had just ransacked his house, looking for anything to take. For anything to tide him over and make him stop feeling like shit. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, but he was so desperate. He spilled everything out of the medicine cabinets, took the cushions off the couch, looked under the beds. There was nothing. He wanted to feel somewhat in control when talking to Grizz, strike a deal somehow. But now he just felt weak. He wasted any energy he had left on his search and there was a monster clawing away at him internally. Steady nausea became immediate and Harry got up and ran to the grass. He puked, narrowly avoiding his clothes. He slowly moved back to the sidewalk to sit, freezing so bad his hands were shaking. He knew his body was going to quit on him soon. He kept begging it for more time as he waited. Grizz finally pulled up and got out of his car looking around to see if anyone was watching them. He looked at Harry, and Harry saw the concern as his face. He must have looked as bad as he felt. 

 

“You doing okay?” Grizz asked, standing over Harry with his hands in his pockets. 

 

“You can’t let anything happen to Allie. You can throw me in jail, or kill me even, but leave Allie out of it. Please, Grizz.” He had planned to be tactful and put on a good argument for why Grizz should listen, but he had nothing left. He just had to hear Grizz say the words. Harry weakly lifted his head up to meet Grizz’s eyes and saw Grizz giving him that same look he gave him when he testified. Analyzing him for understanding. 

 

“Harry, I can’t-” Grizz started, but Harry knew his time was close to running out. 

 

“Grizz, promise me. Promise me you’ll protect her.” Harry stared at Grizz as hard as he could, hoping the message would get across. He needed him to agree. Grizz slowly nodded his head. 

 

“Okay. I’ll protect her. I promise.” Harry felt his whole body release a tension he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

 

“Are you coming to the town meeting? It’s in twenty minutes. And it’s about you.” Grizz asked him, his head tilted, still studying him. 

 

“No.” Harry stood up and started walking back towards his house. His limbs felt so heavy he almost thought he wouldn’t make it inside. When he got there, he turned around and saw Grizz still standing there, staring at him. 

 

Harry dragged himself up to his room and fell onto the floor. He felt so weak and he was back to sweating again. He wanted the pills so badly, but even in his state, he didn’t call Campbell. Harry moved across his bedroom and into his bathroom. He threw up again, this time into the toilet, and then laid his head on the cold tile floor. His whole body was shaking now. Harry closed his eyes and tried his best to convince himself to give in. He was ready for the pain. He was ready for death. He deserved it. 

* * *

Allie woke up feeling brighter than usual. She had hope for the first time in a long time. She went downstairs and started making herself tea when Gordie came down. 

 

“Hey did you hear?” Allie noticed he kind of looked hopeful too. 

 

“The committee has an announcement to make. And based on how Bean seemed this morning, I think it’s looking good for you.” He smiled at her now, a big, happy smile. Allie couldn’t help but give him a big smile back. 

 

Just as her first day out of prison, this day started almost the same. Everyone slowly woke up and made their way to the kitchen. It was all smiles and laughs all around. Will even laughed at a joke Allie made and smiled at her.  _ Progress,  _ she thought to herself smiling. Then, they walked to the church. Grizz, Bean, and Sam were already there since they were on the council. Just as last time, the whole town showed up. Allie sat in the first row with Gordie, Kelly, Will, and Becca. She was surprised to see Campbell, his arm thrown around Elle. Elle had her head down. Even Lexie showed up, standing against the back wall with her arms crossed defensively. She couldn’t spot Harry though, no matter how many times she looked back. She only saw him a few hours earlier during their walk, but she thought he’d show up. Maybe he was sleeping still, she thought. But something wasn’t sitting right with her. 

 

The council sat in the front of the church seated behind a long table. They all looked so serious. Allie thought that they reminded her of Supreme Court Judges. Once everyone had settled in and quieted down, the committee exchanged looks, and Grizz stood up. 

 

“A decision has been made regarding the charges of election fraud on Allie and Will, and the subsequent charges of conspiracy, false imprisonment, and hostile takeover on Campbell, the Guard, Harry, and Lexie.” The crowd started murmuring, just like the day of her trial. Grizz stood there, waiting for it to die down. 

 

“The committee has determined there is not enough evidence to convict either party of said crimes.” Allie’s jaw dropped. What does that even mean? What was going to happen to her? Apparently, others were having the same thoughts because someone on the other side of the church yelled out “what the hell does that mean?” Now Helena stood, on Grizz’s right side and cleared her throat. She stared into the crowd until they stopped talking, just like Grizz had done. 

 

“No one is being charged with a crime. We cannot convict people based on circumstantial evidence and someone’s word. The committee will keep this investigation open in light of new material or evidence that may surface. Allie, Will, Harry, Campbell, Lexie, and all members of the Guard are found as innocent.” She paused, then narrowed her eyes. “For now.” She sat down and Grizz cleared his throat before anyone else could interrupt. 

 

“As I’m sure many of you are thinking, that leaves us without a mayor. The council has decided to take action on this matter. An election will be held a week from today for mayor. Alongside the mayoral election, we will hold elections to create two different councils composed of 7 people each. One will be the judicial council, the other will be the lifestyle council, which basically means they make decisions for everyday life and our survival. We vote for a completely new guard. The mayor and the council will be able to veto each other and check each other so there is no more abuse of power. If you do not agree with this idea, please speak up now so we can discuss a different one.” Allie started looking around and everyone was silent. Some people were nodding their hands. Even Campbell was smirking. 

 

“But there is one exception. Everyone involved in the election fraud issue is not allowed to run for mayor. Not now, not ever. They will be able to run for council after two years. As for those in the guard, they are no longer in that position. And they are not allowed to be guards ever again.” Allie felt all eyes on her as Helena said this, but she saw Helena was looking at Luke. Allie could see Luke shrinking under her gaze, his head immediately looking down towards the ground. Allie considered what they said, uncertain how she felt. She liked being a leader, and she cared about these people. It would be weird to have no say in how they survive. But as she watched Grizz and the council speak in front of the town, her gut told her everything would be okay. 

 

“So you just said I’m not guilty, but now I can’t run for any leadership positions? That’s absolutely ridiculous and unfair. What kind of society is this, where you’re-” Campbell was walking up the aisle of the church spewing some kind of argument about why he should be able to be mayor. Helena stood up and cut him off.

 

“Campbell, we may not have been able to find you guilty of this crime, but you are guilty of something. Sit down.” Campbell paused, looking completely taken aback. Allie watched nervously, scared of what he might do next. Instead, he gave his classic smile and headed towards Elle. He put his arm around her and left the church. 

 

“So, is everyone in agreement?” Grizz asked the town. There was a general chorus of “yeah” coming from everyone.

 

“Good. Sign up sheets for the council and mayor positions will be posted outside tomorrow. Prepare your speeches and your policies. This time, it will be a fair race.” Grizz sat down and Allie almost felt like clapping. He should really be mayor of this place. 

 

People slowly started to file out the church, excitement buzzing in the air. It’s like everyone knew the right thing was finally happening. She got up out of her seat and told Gordie she’d meet him at the cafeteria for dinner later. Allie headed for Harry’s house, partly out of concern that he didn’t show up, partly because she just wanted to see him again. The cold air felt nice on her face, and she reminded herself again to feel lucky. She was alive, and the world was still beautiful. When she got to Harry’s house, she rang the bell and waited for an answer. When three minutes passed, she rang it again and still no Harry. She started to get a weird feeling in her stomach and took a chance at turning the doorknob. It was unlocked. 

 

Allie cautiously entered his house, saying his name loudly. She wasn’t getting any response. Her mind started racing and her stomach flip-flopping. She started thinking Campbell came here after the church and hurt him. Or dragged him away somewhere. She went through all the rooms finding nothing, so she headed upstairs. His bedroom door was already open, and she walked in. His bed was unmade, and clothes scattered across the floor. The sunlight was peeking in from the window, creating a beautiful highlight across the middle of the room. Her eyes followed the beautiful beam of light to the bathroom door, where it ended. That’s when she saw him.

 

Harry was on the floor of the bathroom, lying on his back. One arm was thrown across his stomach, and the other on the floor. His legs were making a four shape. His hair was matted and messy. His skin was almost grey. Allie rushed to his side and placed the back of her hand on his cheek. He felt so cold she removed her hand reflexively. Allie couldn’t even figure out what was going through her head. It felt like an adrenaline rush, she had to take action. She grabbed her cell phone and called Gordie while checking for a pulse. 

 

“Gordie, come to Harry’s house right now. He barely has a pulse, but Gordie...he looks dead.” Allie felt hysteria entering her voice as she choked on the last words. She hung up the phone and stared at Harry’s handsome face, which now looked so sullen and sick. She almost didn’t feel his pulse, it was so faint. But it gave her one big beat as if calling out to her. She grabbed his hand and held it in hers, waiting for Gordie to show up. She started running her hands over his head, smoothing out his hair. She tried saying his name every now and then, hoping she’d see any kind of movement. She moved her head close to his and whispered in his ear. 

 

“Harry, I’m here. It’s me. You’re gonna be okay.” Allie was tearing up now, but she tried to wipe them away with her other hand. She looked at his face and for a split second, she swore she saw movement underneath his thin, grey eyelids. Her breath caught and her tears came faster. She placed her head on his chest and prayed to whatever god was listening to make him okay. 

 

Gordie said Allie’s name, taking her out of her trance. She got up and moved out of the way, ignoring the confused look on Gordie’s face when he came in. Gordie started examining him and Allie looked around. She hadn’t realized how the bathroom looked earlier. The medicine cabinet was open and everything was thrown out of it. She saw pill bottles in the sink and on the counter. Allie quickly walked out of his bathroom and into another bathroom down the hall. It looked the same way. She ran around the house going into bedrooms and bathrooms and finding the same hectic mess. She didn’t know what was going on, but she knew Harry was looking for something. And he clearly didn’t find it. 

 

Gordie called Allie back up to the room. He needed her help carrying him to the car. She grabbed his head and Gordie grabbed his feet, and they carefully maneuvered him down the steps and into Gordie’s backseat. Allie kept looking back at Harry as they drove, worried that if she looked away for too long he would just disappear. Gordie called Kelly and Bean on the way and asked them to meet him at the hospital. 

 

When they got there, Kelly had a gurney waiting and Gordie and Allie lifted him into it. When Kelly saw his face, all her calm disappeared and her face turned into complete worry. They pushed him into the hospital and Allie followed closely behind. 

 

She let them work, staying out of the way. She sat in a chair opposite the bed they put him on, not really paying attention. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, holding them close Her eyes were open but her mind felt empty. She felt so tired with the adrenaline gone, and the reality in front of her. Harry might die. Those words kept repeating in her head every so often, and her heart would skip a beat each time. Her eyes watched, and she could hear everything happening but her brain was barely processing it. They had him hooked up to an IV. They looked worried. They had no idea what had happened and there was an impossible amount of tests to run that required waiting for results. Allie heard Kelly comment that it didn’t seem like there was enough time. Bean agreed, her head still in a textbook, occasionally reading things out loud to them. Gordie started listing things off that he thought it could be, Kelly and Bean cutting him off whenever they disagreed. Allie didn’t even realize she was speaking until they all were staring at her. 

 

“I think it’s drugs.” She must have looked as bad as Harry, the way they stared at her confused but concerned. She felt so detached from herself, she could hear how flat her voice sounded. None of them questioned her on this. Bean started flipping through a new book, reading things aloud. Kelly was still staring at her. Allie heard Gordie tell Bean to look at overdoses, but he didn’t know what kind.

 

“It’s withdrawal. And it’s prescription drugs.” They were all quiet again, staring. 

 

“How do you know, Allie?” Kelly asked. She walked towards Allie and bent down to be at eye level. “How do you know it's withdrawal, and how do you know it's prescription drugs?” Allie slowly moved her eyes to Kelly’s and stared into them. 

 

“His house was a mess. He tore it apart looking for drugs I think. The prescription bottles were thrown on the floor in all the bathrooms. I don’t know for sure. I’m guessing.” Kelly stared at her a little longer and walked back over to Gordie. They talked quickly and quietly. Gordie glanced back at Allie once, then Kelly did too. Allie leaned her head against the back of the chair and closed her eyes. She didn’t know why it hurt so much that Harry didn’t tell her. She felt like she saw him for who he really was, as he did for her. In that basement cellar, she told him things she hadn’t told anyone. He made her feel safe and understood. But he was never fully open with her. And now he might be gone forever. She let herself tear up, and she felt like herself again. Not detached, but too attached. She might lose another person she cares about deeply. And then she was crying. 

* * *

Allie was woken up by Kelly. She shook her shoulder until Allie’s eyes fluttered open. Kelly’s face was in front of hers, and she was talking low. 

 

“Allie, he’s stable. You were right.” Allie moved her head and groaned at how painful it felt. She slept in a terrible position and her neck was suffering for it. She rubbed it with the back of her hand and finally looked at Kelly. Kelly looked tired, bags under her eyes, sweat on her forehead, hair frizzy. She wondered how long she was asleep for. Kelly backed away from her, and Allie stood up. Harry’s bed came into focus and Allie’s heart leaped. His eyes were closed, but he didn’t look grey anymore. He almost looked normal, like maybe he was just asleep. 

 

“It was withdrawal like you said. We gave him some meds to help him detox safely. He’s going to be okay.” Kelly was smiling at her as she said this. Then a shadow crossed her face and she added, “I think.” Allie smiled at Kelly and thanked her. Kelly told her Gordie was napping and Bean went home. They didn’t tell anyone what happened yet. Allie nodded and walked towards Harry’s bed. She pulled her chair along with her placing it close enough to the bed that she could reach his hand. Then she sat down, grabbed his hand, and waited. 

* * *

Harry woke up feeling like shit, but way better than he had felt in a long time. He blinked against the harsh hospital lights, realizing where he was. He looked around. He was in sweatpants and a shirt he’d never seen before. He saw an IV in his arm. He could see Gordie sleeping on a couch down the hall. Then he saw her. Allie was asleep, her head on his bed, holding his hand tightly. He smiled. He didn’t know how he got here, but he was positive she had something to do with it. He squeezed her hand and then went to take it out of her grasp. 

 

“So you wake up and now I can’t hold your hand? Go back to sleep.” He looked back down to see Allie giving him a soft, sleepy smile. She lifted her head up and started yawning, stretching her back and arms. 

 

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to stretch my legs and get off the bed.” She smiled big at this. 

 

“It’s 3:38 AM, sounds about right. Let’s go for a walk.” 

 

Allie went down the hall to the vending machine, and Harry hopped off the bed carefully, grabbing his IV to drag along with him. He waited for her by the nurse's station and she came back a few minutes later with veggie straws and peanut M & M’s. Their favorites. He grabbed the M & M’s and they started their trek through the quiet hospital. 

 

“I know you’re dying to ask, so just let’s get it out of the way.” Harry looked over at Allie who had been silent since the walk started, just munching on her veggie straws. 

 

“Ugh, finally.” She replied, smirking at him. Harry smirked back. He knew she was just being polite. 

 

“So, when did this all start?” She looked away from him, trying to make him feel comfortable. Harry considered how to answer. At this point, his secret was out and there was no reason to hide it anymore. He wanted to tell the truth. 

 

“Basically as soon as we ended up in New Ham. It made me so anxious. I couldn’t cope without the pills.” He wanted to spill everything out at once, but he let her ask her questions instead.

“Did you steal the pills from the pharmacy?” Harry had been ready to tell this story for some time now, but he still didn’t know if he wanted to say Campbell’s name. He didn’t want to put someone else in danger, because Campbell was definitely dangerous. Harry was still surprised he hadn’t retaliated yet. But he wanted to be honest with Allie, at the very least, he owed her that. 

 

“Campbell supplied me. Has been this whole time. I’m guessing he stole them from the pharmacy. It’s what he had over me, the reason I ran for mayor. If I didn’t, there wouldn’t be pills.” Allie nodded, and Harry noticed anger flash across her face. She quickly controlled it and looked back towards him sympathetically. It was clear she didn’t want to explore this part of his story further. She heard all she had to. 

 

“Did you know you were getting addicted?” Harry weighed this thought. 

 

“I don’t know if it’s possible to pinpoint it. Life just felt really hard, especially after Cassandra. It was impossible to go through the day without them. And then I fucked everything up.” Allie was quiet for a minute or so, and Harry snuck a glance at her. She was smiling. 

 

“Are you enjoying hearing about my fuck-ups?” He joked.

 

“No, sorry. I just really never knew you. You’re actually kind of a good person, and every time I remember it's pleasantly surprising.” Now she looked at him with her warm smile and he almost forgot to breathe. Seeing her smile always made him forget what he was about to say. Then he remembered. 

 

“Not good enough. I talked to Grizz before the meeting about me and asked him to clear your name so nothing would happen to you. But it didn’t sound too good. I won’t let them throw you back in jail though, I promise.” 

 

“Harry! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. I just got so caught up with your withdrawal I wasn’t even thinking about it.” She stopped walking and turned to face him now, her face bright. 

 

“What?”

 

“They had a meeting. There wasn’t enough evidence. None of us are found guilty of anything. And, they’re holding a new election next week for mayor and two councils that will balance each other out.” She said it all so fast he almost didn’t catch it all. Before he could respond she started again. 

 

“Only thing is, we can’t run for mayor ever again. Neither can anyone else involved in the whole situation. And in two years we can attempt to run for a council spot.” Harry suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He knew Allie liked being mayor and he took it away from her, forever. 

 

“I’m sorry, Allie. Maybe we can try to make them change their minds after some time passes and you’ll be able to run again.”

 

“I have never felt freer in my life, Harry. The last thing I want is to be mayor again. For once, I feel pretty positive this town is going to be okay. Personally, I hope Grizz runs for mayor. He’d be great.” Harry was so surprised to hear her say this. The word free stuck with him. Had he ever felt free? He racked his brain thinking of that feeling, hopefulness, and joy that came with being rid of guilt, pressure, and immense responsibility. He didn’t feel free. But he definitely was closer to it now than he ever was before. 

 

He smiled at her and nodded. “Grizz would be great.” Allie suddenly looked very serious, but he could see the corner of her lips twitching, holding back a smile.

 

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” She said it like a fact, looking at him. Waiting for a response. Harry was confused. 

 

“Um, that’s a nice quote, thanks.” She burst out laughing. Now he was blushing, embarrassed and he had no idea why. 

 

“What?” He asked. 

 

“It’s from Les Mis. I thought you were an overachieving theater nerd, and you don’t even know one of the most famous quotes from Les Miserables. You are really something, Harry.” She was still giggling, wiping a tear from her eye. He wanted to feign anger, but he felt a smile pulling at his lips. 

 

“Whatever, assistant stage manager!” He raised his eyebrows as he said it, knowing he’d get the response he wanted. She opened her mouth wide, mimicking the perfect expression of pure shock. 

 

“Those shows would have been nothing without me!” Harry rolled his eyes, laughing. He watched her from the corner of her eye as she giggled some more, then crossed her arms in front of her chest. She looked so beautiful. Her laughing died down and she glanced at him. 

 

“It is a really nice quote though.” Her voice was low. 

 

“Yeah, it really is.” He responded back. It got quiet, and then she said he sucked in the play anyway and poked him in the ribs, sending herself into a fit of laughter again. The two of them continued circling the hospital halls for another thirty minutes, talking just the way they used to. They laughed too loud and made fun of each other too much. They were interrupted by Gordie, who yelled at them to be quiet so he could sleep. That only had Allie doubling over with more laughter. Then Gordie rounded the corner and pointed his finger at Harry. 

 

“Back to bed! You’re still in detox! And as for you Allie, you have the most annoying laugh I’ve ever heard in my life.” Allie glanced at Harry, raising her eyebrows and biting her lip to hold back more giggling. She gave a thumbs up to Gordie and they turned around to walk back to Harry’s bed. When they got there, Allie helped him in so his IV wouldn’t get messed up. 

 

“You should go home and sleep.” He said to her. She was staring down at him in the bed, a soft, but unreadable expression on her face. She nodded. As she turned to leave, Harry had one more question. 

 

“So, nothing is happening to Campbell at all?” Allie’s face immediately fell and he almost regretted bringing Campbell up. 

 

“No.” She said glumly. Her shoulders slumped and she had a defeated look on her face. He almost wanted to ask if she knew more about Campbell than she was letting on. 

 

“I think he needs to get put in jail or something. He’s really manipulative.” Harry said. She nodded and said she agreed, but there wasn’t any evidence to go off of. Harry looked away from her, wanting to say what he had been thinking about doing for a while now.

 

“I want to make a statement in front of the whole town. About the drugs and Campbell supplying me. I don’t know if people will believe me, but at least it’ll put some doubt into their heads and make people smarter around him. No one should be manipulated by him again.” Allie looked genuinely surprised when Harry finished his idea. He was surprised by it too. His ego and reputation used to be important to him, but not anymore. 

 

“You don’t have to do that Harry. You’d be telling the town your biggest secret and it might not even change anything.” 

 

“That’s okay. And it will change something. Campbell may get to walk free, but he could still be dealing to other people. There could be someone else in New Ham secretly using drugs to cope too. They should know it’s okay to talk about it or get help.” Allie smiled now, making Harry’s heart beat too fast. She looked so proud of him. He never wanted her to look away. It made him feel like he might actually be okay. Like he might actually be a good person someday. 

 

“Always surprising me, Harry Bingham.” He smiled wide back at her. 

 

“Talk to Grizz. Ask him if we can have a town meeting. I’ll tell the town everything I told you about.” Harry said it confidently now that he saw Allie liked the idea. She nodded and walked back towards his bed. When she got close she bent towards him, her hair falling around her shoulders blocking his face. It smelled like pears. Then she lightly kissed him on the cheek, her lips just brushing his skin. Harry froze, afraid to even breathe with her so close. She straightened up, taking the scent of pear with her, and Harry felt his skin burning where her lips had just been. 

 

“You got it.” She gave him a winning smile and turned to leave. Harry was still reeling from her being so close, his mind wasn’t processing thoughts. As he watched her cross the hallway to the exit door, he finally remembered what he wanted to say. 

 

“Make sure Campbell comes.” Allie turned, her smile gone, face looking serious. She locked eyes with him and nodded, and he knew she would make sure of that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I only have enough left for one or two more chapters, just to kind of wrap the story up between them! Hope you like it :)


	4. Chapter 4

Allie wrapped her arms around herself and walked through the dark. Since her trial and Harry’s confession, everything has felt like a whirlwind. So much was happening so fast she could barely keep track. Her thoughts kept coming back to Campbell and the terrible things he has done. Helping Harry get addicted, manipulating people into overthrowing her, and the worst of it, his abusing Elle. Allie thought of Elle often when she was locked up. She thought of when Elle spit on her face when Campbell told her to. But even then, Elle had this look in her eye, a look Allie recognized. Elle wouldn’t be beaten down so easily. Campbell was so wrapped up in his own selfish conquests, he didn’t even see Elle for who she really was. Elle was strong. Allie had thought of her often since getting out of her prison, but Elle always had her head down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Campell was probably keeping a hawkish eye on her now that power was slipping from him. If there was one thing Allie wanted to do, it was help her escape. She just had to figure out how to take down Campbell. 

 

She had sent Grizz a text when she left the hospital and found him leaning against her kitchen counter. He pulled her into a warm hug, then he was silent, waiting for Allie to talk. 

 

“So… I need you to hold a town-wide meeting tomorrow.” Grizz raised his eyebrows, still silent. 

 

“Harry wants to tell his story to the town.” Allie didn’t know how else to say it. Campbell wasn’t going to be put on trial without evidence, but at least Harry telling the truth can plant some doubt in people's minds. 

 

“And what story is this?” Grizz asked. There was no judgement or negative connotation in his voice. He was always fair when listening. 

 

“How everything that’s happened, came to happen. Harry wants everyone to know the truth, so Campbell can’t get away with what he does.” 

 

“And you believe Harry?” Allie hesitated. Was she about to give her and Harry’s relationship away? She felt so protective of it she was unsure. But if there was anyone who wouldn’t judge her, it would be Grizz. 

 

“I do. Completely. We spent a lot of time together when I was locked up. He would visit and bring me real food. He felt really guilty but I didn’t think he was going to do anything about it. And then he did.” Allie smiled softly to herself recalling her time with him. The fact that he confessed to keep her safe. 

 

“I thought there was something going on between you two. But Allie, I do have a question.” Grizz folded his arms across his chest and Allie’s stomach turned. She nodded for Grizz to continue. 

 

“Why are you giving him redemption after everything that’s happened?” He shook his head while he said it, still bitter from the betrayal. She appreciated how loyal Grizz was. She honestly thought he might be the most truly good person in all of New Ham.  

 

“We all make mistakes, Grizz. Me, most of all. I could have prevented my own situation if I didn’t dismiss Lexie. If I checked on Harry more often. If I listened to those who opposed my way of running things and tried to make compromises. We are all just trying to survive in an impossible situation.” Grizz nodded as he listened to her, and she smiled knowing she was getting through to him. He understood her. Before he could respond, she wanted to get everything she needed out. 

 

“Harry is responsible for his own actions. But Campbell was a driving force behind them. People are looking to you to lead right now, at least until the new election. You should hear the story from him tomorrow, and make an unbiased decision about whether you believe it or not without my influence. For the sake of everyone in the town.” Grizz was silent for a minute, processing what she said and trying to come to a conclusion. 

 

“Okay. We’ll have a meeting at noon tomorrow. Harry can tell his story.”

 

“Thank you Grizz!” Allie was beaming. But then it hit her she had to ensure one more thing.

 

“Grizz, one more thing. Please make sure Campbell comes. He should be there for this.” She looked at Grizz pleadingly, knowing he was the only person with enough power to get him to show up.

 

“I’ll try my best.” Allie hugged him and turned towards her room, but she stopped herself. 

 

“You should really run for Mayor, Grizz. You’d be great at it.” He immediately shook his head. 

 

“Allie, no I-”, he started but she cut him off. 

 

“Give it a shot. I have a feeling a lot of people would agree with me.” And with that, she went off to bed. 

 

___________________________________________________

 

Allie awoke to her phone vibrating on her night stand. She was so used to the quiet of the cellar that most small sounds wake her now. Grizz texted the town group chat asking everyone to meet outside the church for an announcement. Her phone continued vibrating as people liked his message or responded back. The meeting was set for 10 am, but it was only 7:45 am now. She decided to get ready and go see Harry at the hospital. She was walking through the front doors by 8:15 am. Harry was lying in his bed scrolling through his phone. 

 

“Morning, Bingham.” Allie stood next to his bed and handed him the coffee she grabbed for him from home. He smiled at her thankfully and sipped it. 

 

“How’re you feeling?” Allie asked after a few moments. 

 

“Better than I have in a long time,” he replied smiling again. Allie sat in the chair she fell asleep in just a few hours ago and had her morning coffee with Harry. Rather than discuss the situation at hand, they played a game of favorites. Ends up they shared a lot of favorite tv shows and movies, but not so much on music. Allie got them snacks from the vending machine again, and then Gordie appeared. 

 

“I’ve been told you’re giving a speech soon.” He looked unhappy. Harry nodded at him. 

 

“I don’t think you should, but it seems the decision has already been made.” Gordie now looked at Allie, slightly accusatory. Grizz must have told him Allie asked for this meeting to happen. Allie bit her lip, feeling guilty. 

 

“Allie and I will stay near you just in case. But for now I’ll drive you home so you can change.” Gordie walked to Harry’s bedside and started removing the IV. The three of them got into Gordie’s car and took the short drive to Harry’s house. The two of them waited together in the living room as Harry showered. Allie couldn’t believe less than 24 hours ago she found Harry on the verge of death, and now he was preparing to out Campbell again to the whole town. Harry was a lot stronger than he realized. She made a mental note to come back and clean his house later. It was still in a state of disarray from his withdrawal spiral. She was tempted to text Grizz confirming Campbell’s attendance but she knew she shouldn’t bother him. And she trusted him. 

 

___________________________________________________

 

They arrived in front of the church and a large crowd had gathered on the lawn. There was a small wooden platform set up almost like a stage, that Grizz was already standing on. Helena was off to the left, standing behind it with Elle and Kelly. Elle looked impossibly sad, eyes downcast and arms wrapped around herself as if in constant need of comfort. Harry walked onto the stage and Allie and Gordie stayed back, hanging by the side of it. Harry scanned the crowd as people continued arriving but he hadn’t seen Campbell yet. It was weird Elle was here, but not him. He waited for Grizz to give him the okay to start, but before he could Campbell came storming through the crowd right up to the stage. 

 

“Where is she?” He asked Grizz and Harry. He glanced angrily over at Allie too. 

 

“She’s right here Campbell.” Helena’s voice cut through the air, sounding even and measured. Helena walked around the platform, holding Elle’s hand, and faced Campbell. Before he could speak, Helena spoke again. 

 

“We are not dealing with this right now. We’ll discuss Elle after Harry’s speech.” Her stare was hard and voice stern. Campbell looked more confused than ever, looking up at Harry and then back at Elle. Elle wouldn’t look up, doing everything possible to avoid eye contact with Campbell. 

 

Everything settled down and Harry took his place back at center stage. It was just like he was back in high school performing in a play, except this time it was a nonfiction story. He stumbled in the beginning, embarrassed to admit his need for drugs to cope but after a few minutes, he caught his footing. He spoke confidently and everyone in the crowd listened intently. After about 6 or 7 minutes he finished and murmurs started floating through the air. 

 

Campbell hopped on stage and Harry immediately tensed up. 

 

“This is all bullshit,” he said pointing at Harry and then at Allie, Grizz, and Helena. “They’re trying to control us again, and they want to get rid of me because I took their power away. I just found out today they went through my house, I have things missing. I’m sure if any of you spoke against them, they would do the same in a heartbeat.” 

 

“What are you talking about? We didn’t go through your house.” Grizz said walking across the platform to join Campbell and Harry. Campbell lowered his voice now so only Harry and Grizz could hear. 

 

“You didn’t take my gun Grizz? Stop lying.” He whispered through gritted teeth. 

 

“I didn’t know you still had a gun, Campbell,” Grizz replied angrily. Harry stood frozen in his spot, unsure of what was going to happen next. He decided he would walk off the wooden platform and down towards Allie, but then a loud voice broke through the crowd. 

 

“I don’t know if it’s too late to say this...but Harry told the truth. I don’t know about the drugs, but I do know about the coup. We overthrew Allie with no evidence against her. It was me and the guards, Lexie, and Campbell.” Harry paused and whipped his head around. It was Luke speaking. 

 

“I’m sorry Helena,” were his next words before he pushed his way out of the crowd. Helena stood still, mouth agape, and everyone started talking at once. Campbell immediately jumped into action and was denying everything, speaking to the people gathered in front of him quickly. Trying to convince them otherwise before he lost the chance. Harry stayed planted in his spot on the back of the platform, trying to catch Allie’s eye, but she was staring at Grizz, mouthing something to him. Grizz nodded and cleared his throat as loudly as he could. After a minute or so, everyone quieted down. 

 

“We will hold another trial starting tomorrow. Everyone is invited to sit in this time and listen. Campbell, Lexi, Harry, and members of the guard are all being tried.” It seemed like Grizz decided that on his own but nobody spoke to disagree, except Campbell of course. 

 

“Luke is just upset that Helena won’t talk to him, he’ll say anything to clear his name. You can’t just put us on trial again!” He shouted, looking towards the crowd for agreement. But none came. 

 

“It’s over Campbell,” Allie said smugly, crossing her arms over her chest. Campbell closed the space between himself and Allie and got in her face. He whispered something to her but Harry couldn’t hear. Allie didn’t even flinch at his words. She whispered something back that made Campbell turn on his heel and storm towards Elle. 

 

“Let’s go, Elle.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. Helena and Kelly tried to grab hold of her, but Campbell moved too quickly. Helena and Kelly followed behind, shouting after him to let go. He was dragging her while she wiggled and squirmed to get her arm out of his grip. They were almost directly in front of Allie when Elle finally broke free. And then everything got quiet. 

___________________________________________________

 

Allie didn’t know why the whole crowd had fallen silent. Campbell was standing directly in front of her, blocking her view beyond him. She crept forward and stood closer to Campbell, looking over his shoulder at what happened. Then she gasped out loud. 

 

Elle stood twenty feet away from Campbell, gun drawn and cocked back aimed directly at his chest. Before Allie had a chance to react, Campbell roughly grabbed her arm and shoved her in front of him. She tried to move out of his grip but failed. Everything and everyone stood still. Allie’s brain was moving a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to do. She took a deep breath and took a chance of moving her head to look for Harry. They locked eyes and he was staring at her helplessly, anxiety-riddled across his features. She tried to silently send him a message, to do nothing, because she didn’t know what she would do if he got shot for her. She tore her eyes away from him and looked at Elle now. She had tears slowly falling onto her cheeks and her hands shook, twitching the gun. 

 

“Elle, what are you doing?” Campbell asked, pain clear in his voice. Allie would have felt bad for him if she didn’t know how messed up he was in the head. And how abusive he was to her. Elle looked around wildly but then focused back on Campbell. 

 

“Let go of her,” Elle said stuttering out the words. Her voice was barely audible.

 

“You know I can’t do that Elle. Not unless you put down the gun,” Campbell replied, his voice soft and lulling. Elle faltered for a second, her hand moving slowly down to her waist, but then suddenly the fire was back and she lifted the gun again. 

 

“Campbell, let go of her.” She said it with a clear voice this time and her hand steadied, the gun no longer twitching. Allie tried her best not to panic. Elle had locked eyes with her but Allie couldn’t interpret what she was thinking. Elle slowly started walking towards them with the gun pointed at Allie’s abdomen the whole time. Campbell was securely hidden behind her and Allie didn’t think anything would get him to stop using her as a shield. Elle stopped about ten feet away and finally lowered the gun. 

 

“Why are you doing this to me, Elle?” Campbell asked with that same dewy tone of voice. 

 

“I hate you, Campbell.” She spat out, her words sounding like venom. Campbell’s grip faltered on Allie’s arms and she took the chance to shove him off. It shockingly worked and Campbell easily let her go. Allie moved next to Elle now, who moved up the gun again, aiming it at Campbell’s chest. 

 

“Elle, you don't have to do this. You’re free from him, I promise,’ Allie whispered into Elle’s ear. If she heard, she didn’t make any acknowledgment of it. The seconds felt like years as everybody held their breath waiting to see what would happen. 

 

“Kill me, Elle. If you hate me, I have nothing left.” Campbell’s words sounded so sincere, Allie finally felt like she had a look into his fucked up head. He really thought he gave Elle love. In his twisted mind, he was good to her, and he really loved her. 

 

“Elle…” Allie started to say, but she was cut off but the sound of the gun going off. Elle pulled the trigger and Campbell was hit squarely in the chest. Time stopped. Allie felt like she was underwater. The screams of those around her sounded muffled, and Campbell’s body fell incredibly slowly to the floor. She stared at Elle’s hardened face, with her lips drawn into a thin line, and her cheeks completely dry now. Elle dropped the gun immediately after shooting Campbell, and Allie’s peripheral version saw a hand grab it. She wasn’t sure whose, but she was too focused on Elle to care. Allie wrapped Elle in her arms, not sure how she would respond, and whispered into her hair: “It’s okay, Elle. You’re free now.” 

 

Elle wrapped her arms around Allie’s body and began to shudder, as tears broke through again. Allie held her tightly, petting her hair and whispering the mantra over and over again. Allie kept her eyes shut, not wanting to see the chaos going on around her. It wasn’t her problem anymore. Eventually, the two of them were pulled apart, Helena grabbing onto Elle and pulling her away. Allie realized Grizz was grabbing her wrist, and motioning for her to follow him. Everybody still sounded muffled.

 

Allie tried to look around for Harry but she was being dragged along too quickly. They ended up back at her house in minutes, and Allie immediately sat down on the couch. Everyone around her was pacing and shouting over each other. She propped her elbows on her knees and held her face in her hands, trying to steady her thoughts. Gordie’s face swam into her field of vision. 

 

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyeing her suspiciously. She nodded, still feeling like she wasn’t really in her own body. Gordie began snapping next to her ear, but she barely reacted. 

 

“Can you hear that clearly, Allie?” He asked. She shook her head no and he sighed, looking at someone behind him. She assumed it was probably Bean. Allie got up and walked up the stairs to her room. She locked the door behind her and lied on the bed, wanting just a minute alone to process everything. Elle was pushed past her breaking point. No one intervened quickly enough to save her. Allie knew better than anyone that killing someone takes a toll. Elle was already suffering from nightmares that Campbell inflicted on her, but now she just created her own nightmares to haunt her for years to come. But no matter what laws they were pretending to follow, Allie didn’t think Elle was guilty at all. She did what she had to do to survive, and isn’t that what they were all doing?

 

Allie nodded off and woke up about two hours later. She crept downstairs, not wanting to make too much noise. She spotted Grizz first, sitting at the kitchen island with Sam holding hands, and their heads close together. In the living room, she saw Helena, Kelly, and Will surrounding Elle in a protective circle, speaking to her in hushed tones. Luke was off to the left, watching with a solemn look on his face. Allie walked in slowly, not wanting to disturb them. She planted herself against the wall behind them, observing. Helena had Elle’s hands clasped in her own and was talking to her soothingly. Will and Kelly were nodding along at certain parts, soft expressions painted on their faces. Luke raised an eyebrow at Allie when they caught each other’s eye, but his face was expressionless. It reminded her of how unreadable Harry looked sometimes. _Harry,_ Allie thought to herself. She should talk to him and make sure he’s okay. She exited the living room to go grab her phone but Grizz called after her. 

 

“Allie, come here,” he beckoned. She walked and saw Sam’s red-brimmed eyes and her heart broke. Campbell was cruel, but he was Sam’s brother. He was her cousin- and before New Ham, she found him mean but she would have never wished him dead. Now she isn’t sure how she feels about it, and that scares her. She pulled Sam into a hug and they stayed that way for a few moments. Sam broke off the hug and walked upstairs, leaving her and Grizz to talk alone in the kitchen. Allie hopped onto one of the stools by the island and Grizz followed suit. 

 

“How do I know what the right thing to do is?” Grizz asked tiredly. He leaned his elbow against the counter and laid his head in his hand, looking at Allie through messy hair that fell in front of his eyes. 

 

“You don’t,” she replied solemnly. “What are you thinking?” Allie followed up with. Grizz sighed heavily. 

 

“I haven’t. I haven’t had a minute to think properly. We just finished burying his body not even an hour ago.” Allie reached out and grabbed Grizz’s free hand. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She meant it too. She couldn’t imagine the pressure Grizz felt right now. When she dealt with Cassandra’s death it was different- it wasn’t a public execution of someone already involved in a political coup. Dewey deserved to get punished for killing Cassandra. But Elle didn’t deserve to get punished for saving herself from her abuser. 

 

“This is so fucked,” Grizz said sighing heavily again. “And it’s somehow all on me to figure this mess out.” 

 

“You have help and support Grizz. Don’t make these decisions by yourself.” He nodded at Allie’s words. 

 

“What would you do Allie?” He asked, pleadingly. She bit her lip and thought for a minute. 

 

“You had that great idea about councils, Grizz. Bring them together to decide this as a group. And make sure the town knows what's happening.” She paused. “But also, don’t listen to me. I screwed this all up in the first place.” 

 

“Yeah, maybe you did,” Grizz said and Allie’s heart broke. She knew she didn’t do perfectly, but she thought Grizz of all people would understand she tried her best. She looked up at him and saw a smile playing on his face, and he chuckled. 

 

“I was kidding, Allie. You did better than any of us could have hoped for.” Allie breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

“I wonder if this ever gets easy,” she wondered out loud. 

 

“I mean life isn’t easy, whether you're in New Ham or West Ham,” Grizz responded. He always was wiser than the rest of us. 

 

“That’s promising,” Allie joked with a small laugh. 

 

“But you find these little moments of pure happiness and those get you through it.” Allie studied Grizz’s face, seeing lightness and love behind his eyes. He was thinking of Sam. 

 

“I’m glad you and Sam have each other.” Grizz smiled. 

 

“I’m glad you and Harry have each other,” Grizz replied. Allie paused, not sure how to respond.

 

 “I don’t know what me and Harry are…” She trailed off, looking back towards the living room. Elle was sat by the window now, staring out of it solemnly. Luke and Helena sat on the couch their thighs just touching, staring straight ahead. That was progress for them. Will and Kelly were huddled in the corner talking quietly. Allie wondered if the two of them were meant to be each other’s happiness. She hoped so for Will’s sake. 

 

“Don’t get caught up in the logistics of it, Allie. Just let yourself be happy.” Allie knew Grizz was right. She had renewed hope ever since Harry stood up and told the truth at her trial. He gave her a reason to live again. And he’s been giving her moments of pure happiness since they arrived in New Ham. 

 

She thanked Grizz and grabbed her coat, heading towards one of her only sources of happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is literally months later!!! I felt really inspired to write this back then, and then once I got it all out I had no inspiration left...but some hit me recently! I am hoping to finish this one soon :) 
> 
> I know I kind of solved the whole coup and Campbell situation pretty quickly, but I really didn't want to keep dragging the story out, sooo hopefully it makes sense and you like it!!
> 
> Don't be afraid to share your thoughts :)


	5. Chapter 5

Allie knocked on Harry’s door and waited. It looked like there weren’t any lights on when she got there. She considered that maybe she should have texted him first, but the likelihood that he was busy was small. Just as she lifted her hand to knock again, he opened the door. 

 

“Harry,” she said almost as a whisper, before walking through the door and throwing her arms around him. Harry hesitated for just a second before wrapping his own arms around her waist. After a few seconds, she untwisted herself and stood back to take a good look at him. His hair was a mess like he’d been sleeping, but he looked okay otherwise. 

 

“How are you feeling?” She asked. 

 

“Fine,” Harry replied, his voice monotone. He seemed closed-off and Allie felt awkward. She didn’t know why there was space between them suddenly. She looked around and saw his house was still in disarray. She shrugged her coat off and bee-lined for his kitchen where she found garbage bags. She tied her hair up and got to work. Harry watched her for a few minutes, a confused expression on his face. 

 

“Why are you cleaning up my house?” He asked, now leaning against the wall in the kitchen. 

 

“Someone’s gotta do it,” Allie replied back cheekily. He crossed his arms over his chest, the smallest hint of a frown on his face. Then he grabbed a garbage bag and moved into the living room. They worked quietly, moving throughout his house into different rooms to collect trash, reorganize medicine cabinets, and clean things up. About an hour later, Allie plopped down on his couch and wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead. She heard Harry in the kitchen organizing the garbage bags they accumulated. Then he plopped down next to her, their shoulders touching. 

 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. 

 

“Are you okay? After everything that happened earlier?” Allie asked. 

 

“Why are you asking me that? You were literally held at gunpoint.” Allie turned to look at him. He was staring up at the ceiling as if the answers to the universe were waiting there. Sweat had stuck some of his curls to his forehead and his eyes were wide.  She decided not to reply. She didn’t mind sitting in silence with him, and he still seemed far-away. 

 

“Everything that’s happened has been my fault. Three people died because of me.” He stated it like a fact. He still managed to keep the emotion out of his voice, but Allie sensed it was bubbling near the surface. 

 

“Stop blaming yourself-” Allie started, but Harry suddenly jolted off the couch and put distance between them. 

 

“Stop thinking I’m a good person, Allie. I’m not,” He stated, avoiding looking at her directly. Allie opened her mouth to speak but he shook his head. “I’m not,” he said again, lower this time. Emotion clouded his face and for a second Allie thought she saw liquid glistening from this lash line, but with one blink it was gone. Harry started pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. He was silent but everything about him screamed at Allie; screamed to help him, calm him, and tell him he was good. She stood up and moved to block his path. 

 

He finally paused and looked up at her. Allie saw a hurricane behind his eyes. Waves of anger and disappointment flooding his brain. He looked distraught like he couldn’t live inside his own head. Everything in Allie pulled her towards him, to reassure him. She wasn’t thinking, she just let herself react. So she kissed him. 

 

Her lips touched his softly, and he immediately froze. She placed her hands on his face but he remained still, his arms at his sides; but his mouth reacted to hers. Their lips fit together perfectly, moving in sync, tongues just touching. It felt electric. Allie felt goosebumps running across her whole body. After a few moments, she felt the storm inside of him calm so she pulled back. He was staring at her so intensely she had to retreat, moving a few steps away from him. She waited for him to say or do anything. It felt like forever before he finally spoke. 

 

“Allie, I-I can’t do this…” his voice trailed off like he couldn’t find any more words to say, even though there needed to be more. His voice was full of emotion that Allie couldn’t interpret. She felt like she was a statue slowly cracking into a million pieces. With Harry, she felt like how Grizz looked - like there was still hope, and happiness, and love somewhere in her future. But it was just a pipe dream she let herself clasp onto. How could she be so stupid to think this meant something to Harry? It was just guilt all along. He was just using her to get over his own conscience. She grabbed her coat and headed to the front door, wanting to leave before she let herself show any reaction. She heard his voice trail after her, but she was already back in the cold, zippering her coat tight around her. 

________________________________________________

 

Allie paused on the porch of her house to wipe her cheeks and compose herself. She didn’t want anyone asking what happened, there were bigger things to worry about. The house was quiet when she opened the door so she slipped her shoes off and tiptoed towards the stairs. She walked past the living room, but something made her stop and do a double-take. Elle was still leaning against the same window as earlier, so pale and still Allie almost thought she was a ghost. Allie wanted to go wallow in self-pity, but her heart compelled her to comfort someone else. 

 

“Hey, Elle,” Allie whispered. Elle looked startled at the sound of her voice. 

 

“Hi,” she replied so quietly, Allie almost missed it. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Allie said, taking a seat on the end of the couch closest to Elle’s chair. She wanted to take some of the burdens off Elle. Her choices led them here. 

 

“Don’t be, I wanted to kill him,” Elle stated it plainly, with no emotion behind it. If anyone understood what that felt like, it was Allie. 

 

“I know. I wanted to kill Dewey too.” She replied back. It felt good to confess under the cover of darkness, to the only other person that has made the same life-altering decision as Allie. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Allie said after a few minutes. Elle nodded, her head still leaning against the frosted windowpane. 

 

“Why today?” 

 

“I finally had the opportunity…” She started but stopped as if Allie knew the rest. Allie didn’t want to rush her, but she had no idea about what happened earlier. So she urged her on. 

 

“What changed?” Allie asked. 

 

“Helena came to me early this morning and said it was time to escape. Campbell was going to be arrested and put on trial and that I was going to be free. I didn’t believe that though.” Elle stopped talking and Allie didn’t say anything. She had a feeling Elle would continue in her own time. Elle started picking at her fingernails, looking for something to do with her hands. Then she continued. 

 

“I grabbed his gun. He usually carried it on him, but he was sleeping and I saw it just sitting there, and something in my brain said to take it. I don’t know where the courage came from. I guess Helena was waiting for me outside the window. I guess I tasted freedom- but I wanted a backup plan.” She paused again. Allie reached out and grabbed her hands, stopping them from fidgeting. She held them tightly, and Elle finally lifted her head from the window and looked at Allie. 

 

“You don’t know how hard it was. What he would do to me. I never could go anywhere without him. I knew he would talk his way out of any trouble and he would never leave me alone. When he grabbed my arm today I panicked.” She quieted, emotion creeping into her voice. Allie glanced up to see her eyes squeezed shut, tears falling slowly. She faced the window again, partially shielding her face from Allie’s. 

 

“I don’t regret it.” She said after a moment, her eyes now open staring into the darkness outside the window. Her cheeks glistened with moisture, but there were no new tears. Allie squeezed her hands tightly, trying her best to convey the sorrow yet thankfulness she felt. What happened was terrible, but worse could have come. 

 

“You did what you had to do to survive,” Allie said, trying to project strength in her tone. Elle quieted and Allie sensed the conversation was finished. Allie positioned herself on the couch so she was lying down and threw a blanket on herself. Then she grabbed Elle’s hand again and said goodnight. 

 

________________________________________________

 

Allie awoke to the sun streaming through the window. She had to blink a few times to adjust her eyes to it, but once she did she immediately noticed Elle was gone. Her initial thoughts were panic, that Elle ran away or did something to herself. But a quick scan of the kitchen made Allie relax. Grizz, Bean, Helena, Sam, and Gordie were casually eating scrambled eggs, laughter drifting between them. 

 

“Morning, guys,” Allie said, walking over to the island. They returned her good morning with smiles, except for Grizz who was staring at his eggs like they were talking to him. 

 

“You okay, Grizz?” Allie asked. He snapped out of his trance and looked up at her with tired eyes. He shook his head. 

 

“We’re meeting about Elle soon.” Allie’s stomach dropped. 

 

“Where is she?” Allie asked. Helena replied that Elle was upstairs showering. Allie relaxed a bit and served herself eggs. Breakfast continued with more light conversation and laughter. Grizz was the only one who remained quiet and withdrawn, but Allie understood. He had to make the final call, not them. They didn’t bear the pressure of deciding someone’s fate. Leadership was thrust on to Grizz the same way it was on to Allie. 

 

After breakfast, Allie took on dish duty and finally let her mind wander back to last night. She felt hurt and stupid but she couldn’t blame Harry for that. He never said he wanted to be more than her friend. She thought it was two-sided, how she felt, but she was wrong. She didn’t want to face him again until she got over how badly she embarrassed herself, but if he needed help she would be there. That much she knew. 

 

Allie floated through the day, anxiously waiting for news on Elle. Grizz would call a meeting soon to tell the town what decision the make-shift leadership committee decided. She checked her phone over and over again waiting for the text to meet at the church. She scrolled aimlessly through her messages and stumbled across a text sent to Harry when this whole mess first began. It was Allie asking him to meet at the coffee shop to discuss the debate. If someone told her then she would be willingly kissing Harry Bingham she would have laughed in their face. This new world moves and changes so fast Allie felt like she had emotional whiplash. 

 

The adorable sound of Eden cooing excited Allie enough to put away her phone. Becca joined Allie on the couch, putting Eden in Allie’s arms. The cute little girl stared up at Allie in wonder, a smile permanently painted across her face as she grabbed onto Allie’s star pendant around her neck and held onto it. 

 

“I feel like I haven’t seen this munchkin in ages,” Allie commented, still entranced with Eden’s smile. 

 

“She had a little cold for the past few days. I was kind of quarantining her because I was scared she’d get sicker if she interacted with people.” Allie took in Becca’s frown as she recalled the cold. New Ham was scary for everyone, but for Becca, it must have taken on a whole new level of scary. Being responsible for this semi-helpless human in this unpredictable, strange place must take a toll. 

 

“You must worry about her constantly,” Allie said with sympathy. 

 

“I do...but I’ve never felt more fulfilled. Like I have a purpose. Keeping her happy and healthy and safe.” Allie tickled Eden’s toes and laughed along with her when she shrieked joyfully. Allie considered Becca’s words. What was her own purpose now that she wasn't the leader? It was something she hadn’t considered. 

 

“We need to make a world worth living in. For everyone, but especially for her.” The words came to Allie easily, without thought. She knew that was her purpose, but she didn’t know what it meant yet. Becca nodded and lifted Eden back into her lap and placed a bottle between the infant’s hands that she immediately pushed into her mouth. 

 

“Life is about more than just surviving. It’s about love, and laughter, and even arguments and forgiveness. I want all that for Eden. I hope I can give it to her.” Becca replied, staring down at her baby with love and determination in her eyes. Allie felt her heart quell, a surge of love for both these people urging her to act on Becca’s request. Becca must feel that urge for Eden at a level Allie can’t even imagine. They sat in the living room playing with Eden until she fell into a dutiful sleep in Becca’s arms. It was like Eden knew because a few seconds later the text came:  _ Meet at the church in 15 minutes. _

 

Allie felt her stomach immediately knot. Becca was staying with Eden, so Allie trekked over to the church alone, stuck with her thoughts and no distractions. Her mind jumped between Elle, Harry, and baby Eden’s future. All three felt intrinsically connected but Allie could only hazily make out why. Her gut knew what it was though, the common theme that kept crawling into Allie’s mind and conversations. That surviving wasn’t enough. They needed to find a way to live. 

 

She arrived at the church and waded through the crowds that were dispersed outside, waiting for more direction. Once inside, she saw more people had already taken seats in the pews and were speaking in hushed whispers, all eyeing the girl at the front. Elle was seated behind a desk at the front, facing the crowd. She sat straight and still, a hard expression on her face. At first, Allie thought it was defiance, but then it clicked what that look really was: she was resolute. Allie immediately understood Elle’s state of mind. She was at peace with herself and her life, and she was ready to die. Allie felt that way only a few days ago, but it feels like a lifetime now. The tides shifted and showed her that there was still more life to be lived. It made Allie feel again. 

 

Allie approached Elle’s table and took the seat next to her, aware of all the eyes following her. She scanned the crowd for only a second, but it was a second too long. The deep brown eyes she had grown accustomed to were boring into hers, as unreadable as ever. He leaned against the back wall of the church, his arms crossed over his chest. His hair was a mess and Allie could make out bags under his eyes even all the way from the front. Her stomach plummeted and her mind immediately jumped to a terrible conclusion: he was using again. Allie bit her lip and looked away, focusing on the table in front of her. She couldn’t deal with that right now. Elle first. 

 

“How are you?” Allie asked quietly, so only Elle could hear. Elle said fine without moving or turning to look at Allie. She knew Elle was trying to be as unfeeling as possible. Allie looked at Elle’s small hands, folded on top of each other on the table. When she looked closely, she could see they were slightly shaking. Allie put her own hands on top of Elle’s. She finally turned to look at Allie. 

 

“I know I’m going to die,” Elle whispered to Allie. Her eyes were clear and expression stoic. Allie stared helplessly at Elle, unsure of what words would be of comfort. 

 

“And I’m okay with it.” Elle continued. Allie felt tears stinging her eyes and Elle gave her a small smile. 

 

“It’s okay, Allie. It’s for the best.” Elle moved her hands now and squeezed Allie’s within hers. Allie finally found her words just as Grizz and his committee walked into the church, signaling the start of the meeting. 

 

“Elle, we’re going to fight for you. I’m going to fight for you,” Allie said quickly, trying to keep her voice low but struggling with the emotion pouring out of her. Elle shook her head and gave Allie a sad smile. 

 

“I have nothing left.” She said quietly, an earnest expression on her face. She let go of Allie’s hands and faced forward again, the smile gone and stoic demeanor replacing it. Allie stumbled out of the seat and into the first pew, only a few feet from Elle. She felt hollow. The four words Elle said hit Allie like a bullet to the chest. Because they were exactly what Campbell said to Elle before she shot him. The meaning behind Elle’s words made her feel nauseous and angry and more importantly, like a failure. Elle had no one. And she had nothing. All she ever had in this fucked up town was Campbell, and now that he’s gone she has nothing left. Elle was never living, only surviving. She deserved more than that. 

 

Allie could barely focus on what Grizz was saying, he already said the words Allie was waiting to hear: there will be a trial. Allie was forming arguments for Elle in her head, thinking of evidence. Trying to remember every threat Campbell ever said to her. Picturing the bruises she saw on Elle the day she came to Allie for help. It was lighting a fire in her chest and she hadn’t felt her anger boil beneath her skin like this in so long. She wouldn’t let Elle lose a chance at a real life. 

 

The trial was set for three days from now, with Helena representing Elle, and Grizz representing the laws of New Ham. They would pull names out of a hat for the jury members. The minute Grizz dismissed the meeting, Allie rushed to where Helena was having a heated discussion with Grizz. They both quieted at Allie’s arrival, and Allie pulled Helena to the side. 

 

“Let me help you build the case for Elle. She can’t get punished for this.” Allie stated urgently. Helena shook free of Allie’s grip and nodded. 

 

“I don’t plan on letting that happen. If you think you have useful information, meet me at my house tomorrow morning.” Helena said curtly. Allie didn’t have time to consider Helena’s coldness, because she walked away, straight out of the church without looking back at Allie or Grizz. Allie thought it must have something to do with the disagreement she and Grizz just had. 

 

Allie then spoke with Will and Kelly about the decisions being made and they shared in their worries for Elle. The three of them set off towards Allie's house, but Gordie popped into her field of vision. 

 

“Come with me to check on Harry?” he asked, his face serious. Allie hadn’t thought about Harry the whole duration of the meeting, but now her earlier worries flooded back to her. 

 

“Are you worried?” She asked back. Gordie looked around nervously before answering. 

 

“Yes. He looked terrible. And then he left the church so fast, but I told him before the meeting started I wanted to check on him afterward.” Allie’s stomach tightened and she thought back to the bags under his eyes and the unreadable expression on his face. She wasn’t over his rejection, but his health trumped her embarrassment. She nodded and she and Gordie set off towards his house. 

 

Gordie knocked on the door and rang the bell, hoping Harry would hear at least one of them. Allie anxiously stood a few feet behind him, not sure if Harry would be angry to see her. She figured if he was ignoring her, she would just apologize right before she left and let him know if he feels sick he can call her. If he said something to her, well she figured even if it upset or angered her, she would just apologize. She knew things would never be the same now, and she could live with that. But she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something bad happened to him. His health was more important than her pride. 

 

He opened the door slowly, expressionless as he took in Gordie. He wasn’t looking beyond the doorway. He turned as if to walk away before at the last second, finally lifting his eyes up and taking in Allie. She watched as emotions clouded his gaze, snapping him out of his vacant state. She tried to decipher them, but they came and went so quickly it was useless. Gordie had already let himself in now standing behind Harry with a confused look on his face, but Allie stood planted in her spot and Harry stared emotionless. After a few seconds, Allie spoke. 

 

“I’m sorry about last night. I crossed a line. It won’t happen again.” Another flash of emotion, that Allie thought looked like pain, passed through his features and went. He was still silent and unmoving and Allie was losing her composure. 

 

“Um, I’m just here to check on you. Gordie asked me to come with him, we’re worried about you. As a friend.” She threw in the last part on a whim and immediately wanted to die. Obviously it was as a friend considering his rejection last night. She bit her lip to hide the flood of emotions she was feeling and hoped she looked professional. Like a nurse visiting a patient. Something she said must have worked because Harry’s monotony was fading into at least some sort of emotion. Allie couldn’t tell what, but he didn’t look lifeless. 

 

“What are you guys talking about?” Gordie finally asked, completely oblivious to awkward energy between them. Allie pushed past Harry and into the house, trying her very best to not make contact with him. But he didn’t give her any room and their hands lightly brushed against each other. She felt goosebumps rise on her skin beneath her jacket and cursed herself internally. She needed to be detached from her feelings. 

 

Harry was quiet the whole check-up, only speaking when Gordie asked a question. His vitals were fine and now Gordie was trying to pry into if he was using again. 

 

“Have you been sleeping well? I see you have bags under your eyes.” Gordie had his notepad balanced on his knee, sitting across from Harry on the couch. 

 

“No, I’ve barely been sleeping.” Allie related to that, spending most nights tossing and turning and until she finally gives up and walks around the deserted town. 

 

“Harry, I am going to be straight-forward with you. Please don’t take offense.” Harry nodded, and Gordie glanced up at Allie before continuing. 

 

“Have you used at all again since detox?” Harry actually almost laughed, a small smirk developing on his face. 

 

“I fucking wish. I wouldn’t feel so shitty then.” Gordie studied him for a few seconds before noting something down. 

 

“Do you feel bad physically? Because your vitals look good.” Harry looked at Gordie, clearly unsure how to respond. But Allie knew what he was thinking. 

 

“He feels shitty mentally.” She stated, startled by her own bold input into the conversation. She felt both their eyes avert to her, but she was looking at Harry. Just as Gordie was studying him, he studied her. She felt him taking in every detail of her expression, how she stood, where she placed her hands. Analyzing her. Trying to figure out her angle. Maybe he thought she would retaliate from his rejection. But the longer he stared, the calculated look fell away, and a look of impenetrable sadness replaced it. 

 

“Is this true Harry?” Gordie asked, cutting off the connection between them. He nodded, looking down now, avoiding eye contact with either of them. Gordie began asking personal questions about Harry’s depression, and his family’s history of it. Allie felt like she was impeding on their privacy so she walked into the hallway. She leaned against the gray wall by his front door, gazing at the pretty shapes reflected on the wall by the sunshine hitting the ornate glass of his front door. She reminded herself of her new mantra, what she told herself when it all began to feel like too much.  _ There is still so much beauty in the world.  _

 

After a few minutes of organizing her thoughts alone, Gordie and Harry were at the door. Gordie was giving Harry some suggestions for sleep and Harry was nodding numbly while staring at Allie. She didn’t break eye contact this time, hoping it would show Harry that she was over the past and ready to be a friend again. She offered a small smile and opened the door for her and Gordie to leave. As the light flooded in from the doorway, Harry let Gordie walk outside but grabbed Allie’s wrist. It felt like fire touched her and Allie found herself holding her breath as he stared into her eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry Allie. I can explain.” He said lowly. Allie felt her mind begin to race again and couldn't form a proper thought. She wanted to hear the explanation but then she saw Gordie watching them out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“No worries. It was my bad.” Allie offered up in a false-cheerful voice and fake smile. She moved to leave but his grip remained on her wrist. Her smile faltered and his expression looked serious. It looked like he wanted to say more, but he finally remembered Gordie standing close by too. He let her go and retreated back into his house, letting them close the door themselves. 

 

Gordie looked at Allie questioningly but when she shook her head he understood not to press about what happened between her and Harry. She spent the rest of the day brainstorming ways to help Elle with Becca, Kelly, and Will. They wrote down any anecdote that might help, recalling moments where Elle seemed stressed because of Campbell. It was all-consuming which Allie was thankful for. She needed to focus on Elle right now, not Harry and the way he made her heart jump, in bad and good ways. By midnight, everyone headed to bed but Allie lay awake under her covers. She slept peacefully holding Elle’s hand last night, her nerves calmed for a few hours knowing Campbell was gone and Elle was safer than before. But now with the new challenges, her brain hummed along refusing to shut down. She was thankful though, considering most nights she was plagued with nightmares involving her sister and Dewey. She couldn’t help but think Campbell would be haunting her next. 

 

At 3 AM, she put on her sneakers and sweatshirt and left the house. The crisp air and quiet streets lent her a clarity she never finds anywhere else. She breathed the fresh air deeply, thankful for the light pine smell it carried from the forest. She listened to animals running in the bushes beside her, and the few birds sending out signals into the dark. She watched dragonflies burst into color and then disappear continuously all around her. The crickets communicated in a steady rhythm that soothed her anxious mind.  She aimlessly wandered the town, not keeping track of any specific direction or destination. Her legs would carry her as far as she wanted, unwilling to stop moving. Then a disruption to the peace. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and felt the dream of calm crash around her. Harry Bingham’s name was in bold font across her screen. She stopped walking and unlocked her phone, scared of what the text might say. 

 

_ Can I join you  _

 

She read it twice, confused, before looking up and taking in her surroundings. She was on his block, but at the end of it, a hundred feet from his house. She wondered if he was in one of the darkened windows, watching her. She bit her lip and decided she wouldn’t overthink it. Just follow her gut. 

 

_ Sure  _

 

She waited to see if he would appear suddenly from the darkened house. After two minutes she was getting antsy, wondering if he was coming at all. Then the door peeked open and a mess of curls was walking towards her. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy some light angst!! the end is near for this fic, i've struggled to think of an ending for sooo long but i think i have it finally!
> 
> feel free to share ur own ideas for an ending! and general thoughts on the story :) 
> 
> hope everyone is safe and healthy!!!


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